The Sex Bucket List for Couples Who've Done Everything Twice

You've been together for a while. You know what works. You've got a very efficient routine: Saturday, around 10, about 25 minutes, and you're asleep by 11. It's good. Nobody's complaining. But when you think about it, you can't remember the last time either of you did anything for the first time. Here's a list. Print it out, stick it on the inside of a wardrobe door and start ticking things off. You've got years.

Easy ones you can do tonight

1. Have sex with the lights fully on, or fully off, whichever you never do.
2. Do it somewhere that isn't your bed. The couch counts.
3. Have sex at a completely different time of the day. Morning is a great start.
4. Try one position neither of you has ever done. Our T-square guide is an easy way in.
5. Watch each other get off, from opposite sides of the room.
6. Stay fully dressed for the first half hour.
7. Give each other a proper sensual massage.
8. Tell each other a secret fantasy. One each.
9. Say something filthy out loud. Here's your starter line.
10. Have sex without any penetration at all.

Get some new gear

11. Buy a toy together, and let each other choose. Here's how to bring it up.
12. Try a blindfold on each of you, for ten minutes each.
13. Try a pair of cuffs. The Sportsheets Midnight Muse make a comfy first set.
14. Use a vibrating ring together.
15. Bring a wand into bed. Here's how to use one on your partner.
16. Play a sex game. Spin for Sex gives you 25 cards and a spinner, so there's no need to think of anything yourself.
17. Give each other sex coupons and actually redeem them.
18. Wear something you wouldn't usually wear.

Change who's in charge

19. One of you gives all the orders for an hour. Next week, swap. Here's how to work out who likes what.
20. Try orgasm control. "You come when I say so."
21. Spank each other, properly. Our guide shows you where.
22. Tie each other up. Here's your first rope tie.
23. Try wax play, using proper candles.
24. Try a roleplay at a real bar, and pretend to be strangers.

Try a new hole, or the same one differently

25. Try anal, if you're both keen.
26. Try pegging, and find out what all the fuss is about.
27. Try rimming. Have a shower first.
28. Try cockwarming, which is doing nothing, very deliberately.
29. Try face sitting.
30. Go for a blended orgasm, or more than one in a row.

The big ones you'll need to plan

31. Book a hotel just for the night. Here's how to get the most out of it.
32. Take a road trip, and find a very remote spot.
33. Have shower sex that's actually good. Yes, it's possible.
34. Take a tasteful set of boudoir photos.
35. Go to a kink munch, even just for a look.
36. Visit a sex-on-premises venue, and watch.
37. Talk seriously about a threesome, whether you do it or not.
38. Try a sex swing. Our guide tells you how to avoid a trip to emergency.
39. Try a sex machine. It's a real conversation starter.
40. Do the 30-day sex challenge, and see if you make it past Thursday.

The rules of the list

• Anyone can veto anything. No explanations, and no sulking. If you can't both say a real yes, skip it. Our yes, no, maybe list is a good tool to help with this.
• Take turns choosing. You choose this month, and they choose next month.
• It's OK if it's a disaster. In fact, that's half the fun. You'll be laughing about the swing for years.
• Read the safety stuff first. Particularly for rope, wax and anything that's up off the ground.

Most of all, it's about doing something new together. You'll find out you've still got something to find out. That's the best bit.