Types of Sex Toys: What Do You Actually Want to Feel?

You open a sex-toy shop looking for something fun. Ten minutes later you're comparing a tiny purple vibrator with something that appears to need its own bedside table. How the fuck did that happen?

Start with what you want to feel. Vibration against your clit? Something to hold inside you? A different kind of wank? Your partner taking charge for a while? Those answers narrow the shopping down far more usefully than choosing the toy with the most enthusiastic packaging.

Vibrators: choose where you want the vibration

A small bullet puts vibration in a fairly precise spot. A wand's broader head spreads contact over a larger area. Neither shape tells you everything about strength, but it does tell you something about how you'll hold it against yourself.

Some vibrators are for external use; others have an insertable shaft. Rabbit vibrators combine a shaft with an external arm, so the fit between those two parts matters. Two vibrating ends are only useful if they're reaching places you actually want touched.

If you're after clit stimulation, start there. You don't need to buy a large insertable toy just because it looks more impressive on the screen. Our first vibrator guide helps you choose by contact, handling and controls.

Air-pulse toys: a different feeling around the clit

Air-pulse toys use changing air pressure inside a small opening. The rim sits against the skin around your clit, so placement is a bigger part of using one than waving it vaguely in the right direction.

They can feel quite different from a vibrating tip. That makes them interesting if you're curious about a new sensation; it doesn't make them automatically better or gentler. Your clit hasn't signed a contract to love whatever is newest.

Dildos: pick the size, shape and firmness you want

A plain dildo gives you shape and pressure without needing to vibrate. A softer toy can bend and compress; a rigid one stays firm when you press against it. Width and usable length deserve more attention than the colour, however much you fancy the pink one.

Some dildos have suction cups or bases that fit a harness. Those extras change how you use them. They're useful if hands-free use or strap-on sex is what you're buying for, less thrilling if the toy will spend its entire life in your hand.

Our dildo size guide explains the measurements without treating bigger as a personal achievement.

Masturbators: give your hand something new to work with

A soft sleeve surrounds the penis with a different texture from your hand. With a manual sleeve, you control the movement and grip. Powered toys can add vibration, movement or changing pressure, depending on the toy.

The useful question is what you want to change about your wank. More texture? Less work for your hand? A steady action? Browse masturbators with that in mind. More buttons aren't much of a selling point if you enjoy changing the pace yourself.

Anal toys: the base belongs outside

Plugs are shaped to sit in place, beads give you a series of rounded sections, and prostate toys have curves intended for a particular area. They aren't three names for the same thing.

Choose purpose-made anal toys with a substantial flared base or suitable stopper that stays outside. Add plenty of lube and stop if anything hurts. A toy being small doesn't make it suitable for your arse.

Bondage gear: change who's in charge

A blindfold changes what you can see coming. Cuffs change what your hands can do. A collar might be about the look, being someone's sub for the evening, or both. The fun is in what the equipment changes between you.

You can choose one thing from the bondage range without buying enough gear to redecorate the spare room. Agree what you're trying, keep release simple, and stop when either person wants to stop.

Buy one toy for a reason you can name

A toy can be for solo use, shared use or both. The person holding it doesn't have to be the person enjoying it. That alone gives plenty of ordinary toys a second job.

Pick the sensation or experience you're curious about first. Then choose the toy that provides it. A drawer full of things you use is lovely; a drawer full of purchases you can't explain is just expensive clutter with charging cables.