Strangers in a Bar: A Roleplay Script You Can Actually Use

You've seen them naked about a thousand times. You know how they take their coffee, and what they sound like with a cold. But tonight you're sitting on your own at a bar, in a dress that they've never seen, and you've got a story ready. They've just walked in, and they've looked over. Your stomach does a thing that it hasn't done since the first date. Then they slide onto the next stool and ask if anyone's sitting there. You've never met this person in your life. God, you hope that they're good in bed.

It's the best beginner roleplay there is. You don't need a costume, or a dungeon, or any acting ability. You just need a bar and a straight face. Our beginners' roleplay guide covers the basics, and here's the full script.

Before you leave the house

Have this conversation over breakfast, in plain language, so that you can both enjoy yourselves later. Agree on:

• A word to end the game. For example, "Did you feed the dog?" breaks character instantly. Our negotiation guide has more on this.
• The limits. Is flirting with other people on the menu? We'd say no. It's a fantasy between you two, and no one else has signed up.
• The rough plot. Who's going to be there first, and who's going to make the first move?
• How to get home. Don't drive if you're drinking. Book a hotel nearby, if you've got the money. Our hotel guide has some great suggestions.
• How you'll handle a real person who's hitting on you. Be polite, and tell them that you're waiting for someone. It's not their game.

Set yourselves up

1. Arrive separately. That's non-negotiable. One leaves 30 minutes earlier, or goes straight from work. Don't share an Uber to your first meeting.
2. Dress differently. Wear something that they've never seen. Something different from your usual look can change how you carry yourself. Wear new lingerie underneath, too, as a stranger wouldn't know about your underwear. Fishnet thigh highs are hard to beat, should someone's hand end up on your leg.
3. Pick an unfamiliar bar. A hotel bar's perfect, as nobody questions two strangers talking there. Avoid your local, as you don't want the bartender saying, "Same as usual, you two?"
4. Invent a character. Just a little. Pick a name, a job and a reason for being in town. Don't overdo it.

The script

Act one: the approach. One of you is already at the bar. Make eye contact, then look away. Do it again. The other one comes over.

"Is anyone sitting here?"
"Depends who's asking."
"Sam. I'm only in town tonight. Can I get you a drink?"
"You can. What brings you here, Sam?"

Use a real line if you want. It's supposed to be a little bit cheesy, and the bad ones are often the best.

Act two: the questions. This is the fun part, because you get to ask your partner things you'd never ask. Try these:

• "Do you do this often? Talk to strangers?"
• "What's the worst thing you've ever done on a work trip?"
• "What's your type? And don't say 'funny.'"
• "Are you here with anyone?" ("I've got a partner at home, but they're very boring." You're allowed to enjoy this one.)

Pay attention. They may tell you something in character that they've never told you as themselves. That's the whole point of the game.

Act three: the touch. Keep it small, as you're in public. A hand on the arm, a knee touching a knee or a bit of hair moved behind an ear. Lean in, and say something in their ear. Here are a few lines, if you're stuck. Keep it subtle, and leave the bartender out of it. Our slow tease guide tells you exactly how long to make them wait.

Act four: the invitation. Someone has to say it.

"My room's upstairs."
"I've never done anything like this."
"Neither have I. Finish your drink."

Walk out separately, a minute apart. Meet in the lift, and don't touch each other until the doors close.

Act five: the room. Stay in character for as long as you can. Strangers don't know what you like, so you've got to tell them. "Show me how you like it." It's a great way of learning what your partner really wants. Have a condom on the bedside table, like a stranger would. And yes, you should leave the lights on. Afterwards, the big finish is to stand up and say, "So, I've got an early flight." Then you can both collapse, laughing.

When it goes wrong

• You crack up. It'll happen. Have a laugh, take a sip, and go back in. Being a bit shit at it is half the charm. Other couples have had it far worse.
• You get jealous. This is a surprisingly common reaction when your partner's flirting really well with "a stranger". Talk about it the next day. It can also be very hot.
• You drink too much. You need to stay sharp, and you need to be able to say yes and mean it. Two drinks is plenty.
• Someone's feelings get hurt. Something said in character can sting. Have a chat and a cuddle afterwards, and check in. Aftercare applies here, too.

Some other versions

• The home version. One goes for a walk, and comes back with a knock at the door. Our date night guide has a few similar ideas.
• The first date. You're two people who met online, and it's going suspiciously well.
• The tradie. We've written a whole script for this one, too.
• Uniforms. Here's our guide, if you want to add an outfit.

The real joy of this game comes from what happens at the end of the night. You've spent the whole evening seducing a stranger, and you get to go home with someone you already love. And they know where the Panadol is.