Face Sitting for Beginners: Get Comfortable Up There

You like the idea of being above your partner during oral sex. Then you start thinking about where your knees go, whether you're too close and why the people in every sexy picture appear to have no joints.

Face sitting puts the person receiving oral sex above the person giving it. Despite the name, it doesn't mean planting your full weight on somebody's face. Support, space to breathe and an easy way to change position are what make the idea workable.

Once those are sorted, there's room for the confidence and closeness that made you curious in the first place.

Support your weight without using their face

Use a stable surface and support yourself through your legs and hands in a position you can leave easily. Your partner's face and neck aren't there to carry your weight.

If hovering feels tiring or your knees complain, pause and change the position. You don't have to hold an awkward pose until somebody congratulates you. The position should suit your body, not demand a temporary suspension of how your joints work.

Our guide to wrist and knee comfort during sex covers other ways to reduce strain. A different position can keep the mood perfectly well. A stubborn knee doesn't care how sexy the plan sounded.

Keep their nose and mouth unobstructed

The person underneath must be able to breathe freely and move away. Agree on an obvious tap signal as well as words, and stop immediately if either of you needs space. This guide doesn't include breath restriction.

That clear understanding makes feedback easier too. A pause can mean adjusting a pillow, changing the angle or simply having a break. It doesn't need to be treated as a rejection.

You can feel confident without acting dominant

Some people enjoy the bossy feeling of being above their partner. Others like being able to guide the contact or simply trying oral sex in a different position. You don't need to put on a stern voice if you'd immediately laugh at yourself.

If taking charge is part of what you both fancy, keep it in the attitude and agreed play. It doesn't override comfort or the other person's ability to move. Being confident and paying attention go together quite nicely.

Our dirty-talk guide can help if words are part of the interest. A sentence you can say naturally beats a dramatic speech you regret halfway through.

Let your partner tell you what feels comfortable

When you're worried about being too close, it's tempting to keep asking whether everything is all right. A brief check and a clear answer are more useful than a running apology.

Tell each other about pressure, reach and comfort. The person underneath gets to ask for changes; the person above does too. Neither of you has to pretend an awkward angle is brilliant to protect the other's confidence.

And remember that a partner who wants to be there may be rather pleased with the view. You don't have to narrate every insecurity before they're allowed to enjoy being close to you.

Switch positions before comfort becomes hard work

If the position isn't comfortable, try oral sex lying on your back or side instead. Our oral-sex position guide covers those alternatives.

Changing position isn't an admission that you've got the wrong body. Sometimes the mattress is too soft, someone has a stiff neck or two people's proportions make another position easier. That's information, not a verdict.

Oral sex can transmit STIs; barriers such as dental dams reduce risk. Our oral-sex protection guide explains the options without sending this article off on a detour.

Keep the pleasure, lose the performance

You can enjoy being above your partner without staying there for the entire encounter. Try the part that interests you, listen to each other and move when you want to move.

There may be a laugh while you work out where a knee belongs. Good. Being comfortable enough to laugh together is a lot sexier than silently enduring a leg cramp because the position looked fucking magnificent online.