Bondage Restraints for Beginners: Fancy Trying Cuffs?

You've added cuffs to the basket, removed them, then added them again. At this point, you could have bought the bloody things and worked out how the buckles open. If you're curious about being restrained, here's a straightforward place to start.

Restraints limit movement. The appeal can be the physical restriction, letting a partner take charge, or being the person who gets to fasten the cuffs. You don't need to want pain, complicated knots or a spare room painted black to enjoy any of that.

Decide whose hands you want restrained

Being restrained and doing the restraining can appeal for different reasons. Maybe you like having to ask instead of reaching for what you want. Maybe you'd rather be the bossy one, choosing the pace while your partner lets you lead.

That difference gives you somewhere useful to start. Say what you fancy: wrists together, wrists apart, being told to stay still, or just trying on the cuffs and seeing how they feel. “Let's try bondage” can mean quite different things to two horny people.

You can swap roles another time, or stick with the one you prefer. Your first pair of cuffs doesn't come with a lifetime job title.

Padded wrist cuffs make a simple first purchase

Adjustable wrist cuffs let you try restraint without learning knots first. Look for comfortable padding and fastenings you can open quickly. A soft lining is nice; knowing how to undo the cuffs is essential.

For a straightforward first try, keep the wrists comfortably in front, with the body supported and the fastening easy to reach. You can enjoy having your hands held together without adding a strained shoulder to the evening.

The look counts, too. Dark straps and buckles can feel very different from a pair of soft fabric cuffs. Pick cuffs you'd feel fucking good wearing, or love seeing on your partner. There is no obligation to buy the most severe-looking pair just to prove you're kinky.

Leave belts, cable ties and improvised household restraints out of it. Saving a few dollars isn't much of a win if releasing someone becomes the hardest part of the night.

Bed restraints hold wrists in separate places

If hands together isn't what you pictured, under-bed restraints use straps beneath the mattress to hold cuffs at separate points. That changes how much someone can move their arms and where those arms can rest.

Arrange them around a comfortable position, with some room to move. You're trying restraint, not seeing how far apart you can pull your partner's limbs. Ordinary bedroom cuffs and straps aren't for hanging, lifting or supporting body weight, and nothing goes around the neck.

A kit with four cuffs doesn't require you to use all four. Wrists alone can be plenty. Our bed restraints versus separate cuffs guide covers that choice in more detail.

Try being restrained before adding more kink

Keep the first go simple. You might like the moment the cuffs are fastened, the sight of your partner wearing them, or having to leave your hands where you've agreed. Give that a chance before bringing out half the shop.

Trying restraint doesn't mean you've agreed to spanking, a gag or a blindfold. Choose any extra together. If either of you says stop, undo the restraints. Being dominant doesn't mean being a dick about a clear request.

Stay sober, stay with the restrained person and keep releases within reach. Undo the cuffs immediately for pain, tingling, numbness, coldness or a colour change. A calm “How are your wrists?” doesn't spoil the mood; ignoring sore wrists will.

Rope is a separate skill to learn properly before tying someone. Our cuffs versus rope comparison explains what changes. You can enjoy the thought of being tied up without guessing your way through a knot.

Undo the cuffs and keep paying attention

Once the cuffs come off, take a moment together. Ask what felt good, what was awkward and whether anything needs adjusting next time. A drink, a cuddle or some space can all be welcome, depending on what the person wants.

Our aftercare guide covers that part. You don't have to give a speech. Remembering that your partner liked the bossy voice but hated one particular buckle is much more useful.

Then put the cuffs somewhere you can find them. If you both enjoyed it, the next evening can start with an actual pair of restraints and a knowing look, rather than another half-hour spent pretending you weren't browsing the bondage range.