Wax Play Without a Trip to Emergency

There's a moment, right as the first drop lands, when you find out exactly how much you trust somebody. There's a little flash of heat, your whole body jumps, and then it fades into warmth. Then you're waiting, blindfolded and very still, for the next drop. Wax play's one of the most sensual things you can do with a candle, and yes, you can absolutely do it wrong. So let's do it right.

Do not use the candle from the bathroom

This is the big rule. Not all wax is the same. Beeswax and many scented, coloured or decorative candles burn much hotter, and can seriously burn your skin. Dyes and fragrances can irritate too. And anything in a glass jar is out, since you're going to be pouring it from a height.

Use candles made for this. The LaCire Drip Pillar Candles are made of body-safe paraffin wax, and they're designed for play. The instructions say to keep them at least 90 cm from the skin, so the wax can cool on the way down. Once it's dried, it peels off easily. The Make Me Melt Passionettes are also 100% paraffin, with three long 20 cm candles in deep striped colours, and they look fantastic against skin.

A massage candle's a gentler way to try this. It melts into warm oil that you can pour, with no drips to peel off. Our massage candle guide has the details. Just don't assume that every massage candle is safe to pour from any height, so read the label.

Set the scene safely

• Test it first, on your own forearm, from your full pouring height. Then test it on theirs.
• Keep water close by, and a damp cloth. Have somewhere safe to put the candle down.
• Cover the bed. Use an old sheet or a towel, or a waterproof blanket. Wax does not come out of a good doona.
• Tie back long hair and get rid of anything flammable nearby. Yes, that includes the sheer curtains you bought for the mood. And turn off the fan.
• Shave nothing, or be prepared. Wax sticks to body hair, and peeling it off is, well, waxing. Rubbing in a little massage oil beforehand makes it far easier to remove.
• Stay sober, because you're holding fire above a naked person.

How to pour

Light the candle and let a pool of wax form. Start with the candle high up, around 90 cm, and dribble a few drops onto a fleshy area like the back or the bum. The higher you hold it, the cooler it lands. As you get to know how they react, you can move a little closer, but only if they want it. Nearer means a whole lot hotter.

Keep the candle moving, so that you aren't pouring onto the same spot. Make patterns. Let the drips land in slow, unpredictable places, and leave a long gap between them. That anticipation is most of the fun. Hold the candle at an angle, with the flame well away from the wax pool, so that it doesn't flare up.

Where to drip, and where not to

• Good places: the back, shoulders, bum, thighs and stomach. Chest and nipples are more sensitive, so go carefully.
• Avoid: the face, eyes, neck, genitals, hands, feet and anywhere with thin skin, a piercing, tattoo that's healing, or a skin condition.

Make it even hotter

Blindfold them, so that they have no idea when the next one's coming. Our blindfold guide is a good read. Alternate hot drops with an ice cube on the same spot. Or tie their wrists with soft restraints, so they can't flinch away. Our restraints guide shows you how, but make sure you can still get them free quickly if you need to.

When it's cooled, scrape it off with something blunt, such as a credit card, or a flogger if you're showing off. Impact play and wax go together rather well.

If something goes wrong

If it burns, cool the area right away under cool running water for 20 minutes. Don't use ice or butter. See a doctor if the burn's blistering, bigger than a 20 cent coin or on a sensitive spot. A red flush that fades is normal. Blisters aren't. Agree on a stop word before you begin, and take it seriously.

Afterwards

Peel the wax off slowly, rub some moisturiser into their skin and get them a drink. A shower together is a very fine way to finish up, and you'll still be finding bits of wax the next morning. There are worse souvenirs. Blow your candles out, then give yourself a pat on the back. You're now the kind of person who owns a set of play candles.