The Filthiest Books You Can Buy at a Normal Bookshop

The woman next to you on the train is reading a book with a tasteful cover. It's got some flowers on it, or a bit of embossed foil. She's turning pages rather quickly, and she's a bit pink. You've got no idea that, right now, someone in her book's being tied to a bed by a very large fairy with wings. That's the great joy of filthy books. They've got no pop-ups or browser history, and you can get them at your local bookshop, next to the cookbooks. Here's where to begin.

The classics that got banned

Lady Chatterley's Lover, D.H. Lawrence (1928). A posh married woman, a gamekeeper and a lot of very enthusiastic flower-threading. It was banned here in Australia for decades, and it's got a famous obscenity trial to its name. It's a bit slow, and there's a lot about coal mining. The sex scenes are still worth it.

Fear of Flying, Erica Jong (1973). It gave the world the phrase "zipless fuck", which is an encounter with a stranger with no strings and no conversation. It's funny, frank and still very fresh. A great one if you like your filth with brains.

Story of O, Pauline Réage (1954). The big one for anyone into submission, and it was written by a French editor to impress her lover. It's dark and intense, and it isn't for everyone. The consent's very murky, and it's a fantasy, not an instruction manual. Our dom and sub guide is a much better manual.

Kinky and proud of it

Exit to Eden, Anne Rampling (1985). A pen name for Anne Rice, of Interview with the Vampire fame. There's a private island BDSM resort, and adults who've signed up for it. It's over the top, and it's got a real love story in it. (Ignore the 1994 film. No, really.)

Macho Sluts, Patrick Califia (1988). A groundbreaking collection of lesbian leather stories that was far ahead of its time. It's very rough, and it's not for beginners. It's important and very, very hot if that's your thing.

Fifty Shades of Grey, E.L. James (2011). Yes, we know. It's not great writing, and the BDSM's not what we'd recommend. Real doms don't stalk people. But it got millions of people talking about kink, and for that, we'll raise a glass. Read it, then read our guide to being a good dom, and get a blindfold.

Between women

Tipping the Velvet, Sarah Waters (1998). A grown woman who sells oysters in Victorian England falls for a male impersonator, and goes on to have a very eventful career in London. It's a proper novel, it's beautifully written and there's a strap-on in it. And our lesbian guide might come in handy after you've read it. There's a good reason it keeps being recommended.

Romance with the door wide open

Romance is the world's biggest-selling fiction genre, and it's written largely by women, for women, with the plots and the people they want. Look for the words "open door", as this means that you're getting the full scene. Check for the "spice level" on BookTok and in reader reviews.

Lick, Kylie Scott (2013). By an Australian writer. A woman wakes up in Las Vegas, married to a rock star she can't remember meeting. It's a very fun way to spend a weekend.

The Hating Game, Sally Thorne (2016). Also Australian. It's an enemies-to-lovers office romance with a real slow burn, and the tension's almost unbearable. It's much less explicit than the others, but that's half the point. Here's how to do it in real life.

The Duke and I, Julia Quinn (2000). This is the first Bridgerton book. It's great fun, with lots of corsets and heavy breathing. Be warned that one scene raises real questions about consent, and many readers have strong views about it.

Fantasy, aliens and other planets

A Court of Mist and Fury, Sarah J. Maas (2016). The second in a series about fairies, and we promise you that they're not the kind that you're thinking of. You've got to read the first book to get there, but it's why half of BookTok's flushed. There are wings involved.

Ice Planet Barbarians, Ruby Dixon (2015). A woman crash-lands on a frozen planet, where she meets a very big, very blue, seven-foot alien with a ridged cock and a very particular extra feature. Yes, it's real, and yes, you've got to try it. It's brilliant fun, and you can buy it at the shops. Our dildo guide covers the more realistic side of things.

True stories

The Sexual Life of Catherine M., Catherine Millet (2001). A respected French art critic writes a very detailed and very calm memoir of her very busy sex life. Think hundreds of people, car parks and the Bois de Boulogne, in a tone that's as flat as a tax return. It's strangely gripping. It might also make you want to read our guide to sex-on-premises venues.

How to read them with someone

You don't have to read alone. Read a scene out loud in bed, with one of you doing the voices. Mark the pages you like, and leave the book where your partner can find it. Or take turns picking a chapter, and do what's in it. Our guide to reading something spicy together goes through it all. It's also a very gentle way to find out what they like, as our fantasies guide points out. If your eyes are tired, try audio erotica.

And if you're reading alone, here's how to make a night of it, with a bath, a good bottle and a small toy for your free hand. Nobody's going to ask you what you learned. Keep a tasteful cover on it, and you can read it on the train.