Dildo Size Guide: How Big Do You Actually Want It?

It looked perfectly reasonable on your phone. Then the parcel arrived, you opened the box and you just stood there holding it for a moment, thinking, "Well, fuck." The photo had been doing a shitload of favours for your sense of scale.

Maybe that's exactly what you wanted. Maybe you want to feel stretched open and properly full. But you should get that on purpose. "Large" means nothing without numbers, so here's how to work out how much cock you're really buying.

Width: this is what you'll feel most

Width decides how full you feel, and it's the number that catches people out. Diameter goes straight across a round dildo. Girth, or circumference, goes around it. Mix them up and you could get a very different toy from the one you were picturing.

For a round shaft, circumference is about diameter times 3.14, so 3 cm across is about 9.4 cm around. Check the widest bit you'll actually take, including a big head or any bumps. Your body won't politely ignore those because the rest of the shaft looked manageable.

Length: go by insertable

Total length includes the base or handle, and a chunky suction cup can make a toy look far longer without giving you any more depth. Compare insertable length with insertable length, and remember 1 inch is 2.54 cm. Do the maths while you're shopping, not when you're naked and annoyed.

You don't need to take every centimetre, either. Some people love a long toy for the handle it gives them, and others find that being hit deep is the best bit or the very worst. You'll know which you are.

Measure the one you already love

Your favourite toy tells you more than a stranger's review ever will. Find its widest point and how deep you comfortably take it. Then decide if you'd like a bit more stretch or a bit more reach, and change one thing at a time.

Use a ruler along the shaft and a soft tape around it. No tape? Wrap a strip of paper around it, mark where the ends meet and measure the strip flat. You've got a measurement, and an excuse to get it out for a while.

Three sizes to think about

A comfortable start: the REALROCK Crystal Clear 5" is streamlined and non-porous, with a suction cup and a very friendly price. It's a smart first cock, or one you'll keep for quick, lazy nights.

A bit of a stretch: at 19.8 cm, the Adam & Eve Crystal Gem offers more to work with, and it's a very handsome thing to have in your hand.

A serious commitment: the REALROCK 10" with Balls is 25 cm of see-through, sucker-based cock. If you've already got your eye on that one, you probably know exactly what you're doing.

Shape and firmness change everything

Two toys with the same measurements can feel completely different. Rigid glass doesn't squish, and a soft silicone toy does. A pronounced curve hits where a straight shaft won't. Our silicone vs glass guide and textured vs smooth guide explain how.

And be careful that you don't accidentally buy more width, more firmness and a load of ribs when all you really wanted was the purple one. Horny shopping is still shopping.

You don't have to climb a ladder

New to this? Pick a modest size that sounds good to you. There's no perfect beginner size, and the biggest cock in the shop won't make you any better at using it. Small, medium and large are shelf labels, not a ladder you've got to climb. If you do want to size up, take your time and enjoy every step.

Use plenty of lube and stop if it hurts. Anything going in your arse needs a wide flared base that stays outside.

Now browse our full dildo range with the numbers in your head and a very good idea in your mind.