Audio Erotica: Why Everybody's Getting Off With Their Eyes Shut

Nothing in porn has ever been as hot as somebody with a very good voice, breathing a little harder than usual, telling you exactly what they're about to do. There's no ring light. No weird angles and nobody pretending. You've got your eyes shut, and your brain's casting the movie, with exactly the right person. It's why audio erotica's become one of the fastest-growing ways of getting off, especially among women.

What is it?

It's porn for your ears. Stories, scenes, instructions or just the sound of people having sex. It could be a fully acted story with a plot and sound effects, or one person talking directly to you, or a guided masturbation session where someone tells you what to do. There's also plenty of amateur stuff on sites where people share their own recordings.

Why does it work so well?

• Your imagination's better than a screen. It knows what you like, it casts your favourite people, and there's nothing there to break the spell.
• No body comparison. You're not looking at anyone else's abs, or wondering about their labia. A lot of people find they can finally stop thinking about their own stomach.
• It's intimate. A voice in your earbuds feels very close. It's as if someone's whispering to you, because they are.
• It builds. Stories take a while, with a bit of tension and a slow burn. That's how many people's desire actually works. Our guide to responsive desire explains why that matters.
• You can do it with your hands free. Obviously.

Where to find it

Dipsea and Quinn are two well-known apps and sites that specialise in this, with sexy stories that have a focus on women's pleasure. Ferly's another, and it's got some guided sessions. There's also a lively community of amateurs on Reddit's GoneWildAudio, which has everything you can think of, with varying quality and some truly excellent voices. Ethical issues apply here as well, so our ethical porn guide tells you what to look out for, and paid apps are usually a better bet for your privacy. Check the current subscription details, as these things change.

How to use it for the best results

1. Use good headphones. Nobody else needs to hear that. Plus, a good pair puts the voice right inside your head. Bluetooth earbuds are ideal, and check they're connected before you hit play. This one's a mistake you only make once.
2. Close your eyes. Really. Turn the lights off. Don't look at your phone.
3. Listen to a sample first. Voices are extremely personal. A voice that does nothing for one person will destroy another. Keep looking until you find yours. You'll know.
4. Don't rush it. Let the story get going before you start touching yourself. Then do what they're telling you to do, in time with them, if that's the kind you've chosen.
5. Add a toy. Hands-free's the perfect partner. The Satisfyer Desire 360 is a wearable, so you don't need to hold anything, or try a good stroker, like the Satisfyer Men Vibration. Quiet toys make it easier to hear, so check our guide.

Try it with a partner

This is a very underrated way of getting a couple going. Lie next to each other in the dark and share a speaker or a pair of earbuds, one each. Let the voice in the recording do the talking, and then do what it tells you to. Nobody's got to come up with any dirty talk, and everyone's a bit embarrassed together. You can also find out what your partner's into by what they choose. Reading something spicy aloud is the same idea, without the app.

Or make your own

Here's the really good bit. Record yourself. A voice note to your partner, telling them what you're going to do to them when you get home, is one of the hottest things you can send. It doesn't have any of the risks of a nude, as there's no face or body, though you should still be careful about who has it. Whisper it from the car in the carpark at work. FIFO couples and long-distance couples swear by it. If you're stuck on what to say, our dirty talk guide and Dirty Talk Line of the Week will get you started.

A few warnings

Check that your headphones are actually connected before you press play, particularly at work. Nobody wants that on the office speakers. Don't listen and drive, however good the story is. It's distracting in ways that are bad for everyone on the Hume Highway. Be careful what your audio apps are doing with your data, and use a strong password. And if you've started listening to it on the bus, that's between you and your conscience, but please keep your hands where people can see them.

Now, turn off the light, close your eyes and let somebody else do the talking for once.