The outfit looked fantastic. Then you spent the entire evening rescuing a strap, rearranging a cup and wondering if the knickers were trying to leave without you.
Lingerie should make you feel like showing yourself off, not give you three new things to fiddle with. Start with the look you fancy and how you want to wear it. The label can worry about itself.
How much do you fancy showing?
Sheer mesh and lace let skin do some of the showing off. More coverage gives a different sort of tease, especially when you're wearing something close-fitting. Neither is automatically sexier. Being delighted with what you've got on does a lot for the effect.
A bra-and-knicker set lets you choose a familiar shape with a less everyday attitude. A teddy brings the top and bottom together in one piece, which can look lovely without needing several matching purchases.
If you're drawn to crotchless lingerie, the opening is one part of the choice. You still want the rest of it to fit and sit where you like. A strategically missing bit of fabric doesn't excuse all the remaining bits misbehaving.
The lingerie collection gives you real options to browse. Start with the pieces you actually want to wear, rather than choosing whatever looks most intimidating on the model.
A good fit leaves you free to flirt
A bra band should feel secure, with cups that hold you without painful squeezing or big gaps. Straps that dig in need adjusting, and sometimes a different cut is simply a better answer. The lingerie is supposed to work around your body.
With a teddy or bodystocking, torso length matters as well as width. A piece that pulls hard between your shoulders and crotch is going to make itself known. Not quite the attention you were after.
Stretch gives some flexibility, and adjustable straps or ties let you tweak the fit. “One size” isn't a promise that every body will find it equally good. A size label is shopping information, not a verdict on how hot you are.
You should be able to sit down, move about and enjoy being looked at without constantly making repairs. Comfortable knickers and a filthy grin are a better combination than spectacular knickers and a growing temper.
Padded cups or a softer, unstructured fit?
Those are all decent reasons to choose a piece. If you like a lifted look, structured cups or padding can help create that shape. If you prefer less fuss, an unstructured piece gives a different feel. Wearing padding isn't cheating. It's underwear.
Be honest about how long you plan to wear it. A piece chosen for a short bedroom appearance has a different job from one going under your clothes for dinner first. Something that scratches after ten minutes will be very annoying by dessert.
For the more structured styles, our corset, bustier and basque guide explains the useful differences. You can enjoy a shaped silhouette without treating every lace-up garment as the same thing.
Choose lingerie you want to show off
Pick something you want to see yourself in. It can be soft, bold, ridiculously strappy or barely there. Your partner's favourite is useful information, but you're the one wearing it.
Fancy dressing differently for a night? Our couples roleplay guide has ideas that don't require acting lessons. Or wear the lingerie because it's Tuesday and you bloody well want to.
Give it a little care between outings, too. The lingerie washing guide handles that bit. Lace doesn't need to become a casualty of your next enthusiastic laundry load.
Then let yourself enjoy it. Nice lingerie is allowed to be fun before it ends up on the floor.