Kink of the Month: Uniforms, and Why Everyone Loves a Bit of Hi-Vis

A firefighter in the good gear. A pilot, in a crisp white shirt. A woman in a beautifully cut suit who's about to tell you that you're in serious strife. A tradie in hi-vis. There's a reason you just thought about at least one of those for slightly too long. Welcome to Kink of the Month, and to the very common, very cheap and very enjoyable world of uniform fetishes.

Why do uniforms do it for so many people?

A uniform tells you who's in charge. It means someone's competent, disciplined, has authority, and knows what they're doing. And competence turns a lot of people on. Add to that the thrill of seeing someone who's usually buttoned up and proper come undone, and it's not much of a mystery.

It's also a costume. The person in the uniform gets to be someone else for a night. A shy accountant can become an officer who gives orders, and the person who's always in charge can hand over their responsibilities to somebody else. Nobody has to explain themselves, as the clothes do all the talking.

Which uniforms work best?

All of them, depending on who you ask. These are some of the big ones:

• Police and military: The classic power fantasy, all about being told what to do.
• Medical: Doctor and nurse fantasies combine authority, care and a good excuse for an examination.
• Hospitality: A flight attendant or a French maid. Service with a very specific kind of smile.
• Tradies: A very Australian favourite. We've got a whole article about the hi-vis fantasy.
• Corporate: A sharp suit, a loosened tie and a boss who wants a word in private.

How to try it

Start by telling your partner which one does it for you. It's a pretty easy confession to make, as it's so common. "I reckon you'd look unbelievable in a pilot's uniform" is a fun text to send. Our yes, no, maybe list can help.

Start with the costume and keep the plot simple. You don't need a full script. Answer the door dressed as your character, and see what happens. Read our beginner's guide to roleplay, and if you're worried about what to say, our roleplay script gives you some lines. Decide who's in charge, and what's off limits, before you start. Agree on a safeword, since "no, officer" might very well be part of the game.

What to wear

You've got options, from a cheap costume to the real thing:

• A proper costume. Sexy costumes are cheap and easy. Our guide to costumes and roleplay outfits has our picks.
• Use what you have. Real work gear is often hotter than a costume, particularly if you actually wear hi-vis or scrubs to work. Just wash it afterwards, and don't sit on the bed in your boots.
• Accessories do the heavy lifting. Cuffs make any uniform far more interesting. The Sportsheets Midnight Muse cuffs have quick-connect clips and a lined interior, and our restraints guide tells you how to use them. A crop or a set of aviator sunglasses can do the rest.

Keep it legal and keep it private

Here's where it gets serious for a moment. Impersonating a police officer or a real emergency worker is an offence in Australia, and you don't want to find that out by wearing it to the shops. So keep the uniform inside the house. Don't wear it where someone could mistake you for the real thing, and don't post pictures in a real uniform with your employer's logo on it, as that's a good way to end up having a very different kind of conversation with your boss.

If you work in one of these jobs, your partner might love it, or you might want to leave work at work. Both are fine. Some people would rather never think about that shirt in a sexual context, and they should be taken at their word.

Is it weird?

It's one of the most common fantasies there is. It doesn't mean you've got problems with authority, or that you're secretly in love with your dentist. It just means that you're a person who can look at a fire truck, and feel something.

That's our kink for this month. Next time you walk past a bloke in hi-vis, you're welcome.