Bedroom Lighting: Turn Off the Big Light, You Absolute Monster

You've got them on the bed. Their shirt's half off, and you're kissing your way down their stomach. They reach over for the switch, and the big light comes on. Suddenly the bedroom looks like an emergency department, you can see the ceiling stain, and you've both aged nine years.

Still, wanting to see the person you're sleeping with is hardly a crime. Bedroom lighting's a small change that makes a huge difference. Here's how to get a great view, without feeling you're about to be questioned.

Leave some light for the view

Lights on can be incredibly sexy. You can see a smile, an arched eyebrow, the lingerie someone chose, and the way their face changes when you find the right spot. Watching is half the fun for many people. So if you love the view but hate the glare, turn on a bedside lamp, and leave the big light off.

You don't need an expensive setup. Use the lamps you've got, and see how the room looks from the bed. That's the angle that counts.

Softer light doesn't mean no light

If you prefer things dimmer, leave enough light to find each other and whatever you want to reach. A lamp further from the bed gives a softer glow than one right beside your face. Warm bulbs are far kinder than cool white ones, and a dimmer's about the cheapest bedroom upgrade going.

And nothing beats candlelight on bare skin. A Sea Jasmine Massage Candle gives you the glow and warm oil as well. Keep it on a stable surface, away from anything flammable. Our massage candle guide shows you how to use it safely.

Want different things? Meet in the middle

One of you may love watching, while the other prefers less brightness. Try a soft side light behind the person who's feeling shy, or a dim lamp across the room. "Can we leave the lamp on?" is usually enough, and it doesn't need a philosophical argument.

Someone who likes dim light isn't necessarily hiding their body, and someone who wants it brighter isn't necessarily judging it. If you're feeling self-conscious, though, it's worth knowing that the person in your bed is already very happy to be there.

Let the outfit have its moment

If you've put on lingerie you love, enough light for your partner to appreciate it's part of the point. Our lingerie guide and our crotchless lingerie guide have a few ideas, if you'd rather keep it on. You can change the light as you go. Bright for getting undressed, soft for later on.

Or go the other way, and use a blindfold. It's the one sure way to have the lights off for one of you, while the other has the best seat in the house.

The room only needs to help a bit

A soft glow is great. It won't turn an ordinary bedroom into a hotel suite, though, and it doesn't have to. If you're adding music, our sex playlist ideas can keep the soundtrack in its place. Otherwise, try the lamp and enjoy the view. The big light can stay off until someone's lost an earring.