Bedroom Lighting: A Better View, a Softer Glow

One of you wants a soft glow. The other has switched on the big light and suddenly the bedroom looks ready for a rental inspection. Nothing says “come here, gorgeous” quite like remembering the ceiling needs a dust.

Still, wanting to see the person you're sleeping with is hardly a crime. Bedroom lighting is a small choice that can change how the room feels, whether you fancy a cosy little pool of light or a proper look at the excellent body beside you.

Leave a little light for the good view

Lights on can be sexy. You can see a smile, an arched eyebrow, the lingerie someone chose and that look they give you when they're enjoying themselves. Darkness isn't automatically more romantic than being able to admire each other.

If you enjoy the view but dislike overhead glare, try a bedside lamp while leaving the big light off. Light coming from beside you feels different from having the ceiling point out every unmade corner of the bed.

You don't need an expensive lighting setup to try this. Use the lamps you have and see how the room looks with one on instead of everything blazing. A little light across the bed can be inviting without making the laundry pile look like an exhibit.

Softer light doesn't mean no light

If you like things dimmer, leave enough light to find each other and the things you want to reach. Groping can be delightful. Groping around for the lube while accidentally grabbing a phone charger is less rewarding.

A lamp farther from the bed can give a softer glow than one right beside your face. Angle adjustable lamps away from your eyes rather than shining them directly at the pillows. You're setting the mood, not asking your partner to confess where they left the remote.

Keep the route to the door clear, too. Nobody needs to step on yesterday's belt while trying to look seductively casual. The lovely bit of the evening should involve each other, not a whispered “fuck” aimed at the furniture.

Want different things? Try the middle setting

One person might enjoy watching while the other prefers less brightness. Try a softer side light before assuming the only choices are floodlit or pitch-black.

“Can we leave the lamp on?” is usually enough. There doesn't need to be a philosophical argument about confidence, romance or which of you has the more sophisticated taste in bulbs.

Someone who likes dim light isn't necessarily hiding their body. Someone who wants it brighter isn't necessarily missing the mood. You might simply enjoy different views. Find a light you both like and carry on enjoying the people under it.

Let the outfit have its moment

If you've put on lingerie you love, enough light for a partner to appreciate it can be part of the fun. There is something rather satisfying about getting the reaction before the outfit comes off.

Our crotchless lingerie guide has a few ideas if you'd quite like to keep it on. Or use a softer glow for a slower night with massage oil and unhurried hands. The room doesn't need to look like a spa to make that sound appealing.

You can change the light when you feel like it. A brighter room might suit getting undressed; a softer lamp might feel better once you're settled. You don't owe the light switch an evening-long commitment.

The room only needs to help a little

A lovely glow is nice. It doesn't have to turn an ordinary bedroom into a hotel suite, and it can't do all the flirting for you.

If you're adding music, our sex playlist ideas help keep the soundtrack from getting too involved. These couples roleplay ideas offer a different kind of atmosphere when you're feeling cheeky.

Otherwise, try the lamp, enjoy the view and give the person beside you some attention. The big light can wait. It has enough work to do tomorrow when you're searching for the knickers.