“Fancy a massage?” is a much better offer when it doesn't mean forty seconds of distracted shoulder squeezing while someone watches the cricket.
A massage candle makes the offer feel a little more deliberate. As it melts, it gives you warm oil for skin massage as well as candlelight and scent. The hands are still yours. So is the chance to pay some actual attention.
Warm oil is a very decent excuse to linger
The appeal is simple: pleasantly warm oil helps your hands move comfortably over skin, rather than dragging or making that first cold dollop a nasty surprise. Purpose-made massage candles are made for this; a normal household candle isn't a substitute.
You don't have to turn the bedroom into a spa. Get close, start with a back or shoulders and give the massage longer than it takes to ask, “Is that good?” Unhurried touch is doing most of the work here.
Keep it a massage if that's what you both fancy. It can lead to sex, but it isn't an advance payment. Getting the knots out of someone's shoulders is a perfectly respectable result, even if your intentions were less respectable when you offered.
Pick a scent you'd want close to bare skin
You are going to smell it up close, so choose a scent you both like rather than one that merely sounds expensive. Subtle is a good choice when strong fragrance usually gets on your nerves.
The massage options in our candle collection include the Shiatsu Massage Candle and Hemp Seed 3-In-1 Massage Candle. Both are made to provide melted oil for skin massage. Don't confuse massage candles with candles intended for wax play: they're different purchases.
Rather skip the flame? Massage oil gets your hands slipping along nicely without anything burning nearby. Candlelight isn't a requirement for putting your phone down and getting properly hands-on.
Let the massage oil cool before it touches skin
Let a little oil melt, extinguish the flame and allow it to cool until comfortably warm. Try a small amount on your own skin before applying it to your partner. There's no prize for getting it on faster.
While the candle is lit, keep it supervised on a stable, heatproof surface away from bedding and anything flammable. Put a towel beneath the massage area, too. Oil belongs on skin; your freshly washed sheets don't need a generous serving.
Use personal lube for genital contact
Massage oil is for external skin massage, not a replacement for personal lube. Keep it away from genitals, and remember that oil can damage latex and polyisoprene condoms. Wash oily hands and skin before moving on to genital or condom contact.
Our massage oil versus lube guide explains that difference. Keep a proper personal lubricant nearby if the night changes direction.
Then take your time. The candle isn't going to lose interest because you've spent longer on the shoulders than expected.