Costumes and Roleplay Outfits: What's Worth Buying

You're standing in your bedroom in a flight attendant's hat and very little else. Your partner's on the bed. You've got your line ready. You open your mouth, you say "Welcome aboard," and you both completely lose it. That's the risk with a costume. It's also the fun. Dressing up gives you a chance to be somebody else for an hour, and even if you crack up laughing halfway through, you'll still end up naked.

Why dress up?

Because it does the hard work for you. You don't need to think up a whole personality. A uniform tells you who you are, how you should stand and how you're meant to talk. Suddenly, the shy accountant's giving orders, and the person who runs everything gets to do what they're told. Our guide to uniforms explains why this works so well, and our roleplay guide helps with the rest.

What's worth buying

A full costume is the easy option. It comes in one box, with everything you need. They're great for a laugh, and for a first try. The Baci First Class Fantasy four-piece set is the flight attendant fantasy in a box, and it comes in a one-size navy set. Check the size range on the listing.

A good set of lingerie might be a better investment, as it works for many different fantasies. Add a hat, and you've got a whole new character. The Baci wet-look teddy is a good all-rounder, and it can be a dominatrix, a secret agent or a very naughty stranger. Our lingerie guide has lots of ideas.

Accessories are the secret. They're cheap and reusable, and they do most of the work. Think hats, glasses, a tie, gloves, or a stethoscope. A pair of cuffs can make any costume more interesting. The Sportsheets Midnight Muse cuffs are comfortable and quick to release. A crop makes you a lot more convincing as a riding instructor or a dominatrix.

Your own clothes. A suit and a loosened tie, a work shirt or a sharp dress can be the hottest of all. It's free, and it fits. Try pretending to be strangers in a bar, and you don't need a costume at all.

The classics

• Flight attendant and pilot. It's got travel, uniforms and service. "Can I get you anything else, sir?"
• Doctor and nurse. A very old favourite, with an excuse for an examination. Don't use anything that goes near a real medical procedure, please.
• Cop and suspect. A power classic. Cuffs included. Just keep it in the bedroom, as it's an offence to impersonate police in public.
• French maid. Somebody's got to clean this place up. Bonus points if they actually do.
• Boss and employee. You've got a performance review. It might go on for some time.
• Tradie. You've got a leak. Here's why hi-vis works so well.
• Superhero. Silly, and surprisingly hot.

Keep everything adult. Costumes that suggest someone's underage, or that make fun of a culture or a religion, are best left on the rack. We don't sell the first, and you can do better than the second.

How to pick one that'll actually fit

• Read the size chart. "One size" can mean very different things. Check the actual measurements.
• Look at the fabric. Cheap costumes can be scratchy, see-through in the wrong places or smell a bit like a tyre. Wash it before you wear it. Our washing guide has more.
• Think about access. Can you get it off easily? Can you leave some of it on? You don't want to be stuck in a zip at the moment of truth.
• Bigger bodies: Our plus-size guide has tips on finding things that fit you properly.

How to not crack up

You will, and that's OK. Here's what helps:

• Keep the plot short. You don't need a script. Choose a situation, and start there.
• Stay in the moment. When someone giggles, wait a second, and then carry on.
• Do it with the lights low. Costumes look much better in a dim room, and so do you.
• Talk first. What's the fantasy? What's off limits? What's your safeword if you're playing with power? Our negotiation guide has what you need. Here's a funny story about what happens if you don't talk first.
• Don't take it too seriously. If you fall about laughing, that's a great night. You've still got the outfit on.

So pick a character, open the door and say your line. The worst-case scenario is that you end up laughing naked on the floor with someone you love. There are many worse ways to spend a Tuesday.