How to Use a Vibrator During Sex and Come Harder Than Ever

They're inside you, moving slowly, and you press a little vibrator to your clit. The feeling doubles. You can feel it through them, and they can feel it through you, and you both stop talking in full sentences pretty much immediately. This, right here, is why people buy these things.

Getting there can take some rearranging. A toy that feels brilliant on your own can leave you with three busy hands and someone's elbow in exactly the wrong place. Give it enough room, and you can stop wrestling and start coming.

Which positions work best?

Spooning: side-lying leaves plenty of room to reach around, and you don't have to squeeze a hand between your bodies. Our spooning guide is a great place to start.

You on top: you control the angle and the toy. Lean back slightly and you've got easy access to your clit. See our on-top guide.

From behind: drop your chest to the bed, and you've got a hand free. It's deep, it's filthy and it works very well.

Missionary: it's a tight fit, so a tiny toy's your friend, or leave a little space between you.

A bullet tucks in, a wand wants space

A bullet is perfect when room's tight. The Maia KONA brings focused vibration right to your clit without taking up room your partner needs. It's small, so there's not much to grip, and if you're spending more attention on keeping it in place than on what's going on, try a different shape.

A wand has a broader head and a handle, and it's fantastic when there's room beside you or in front of you. It won't tuck into every position, but with you lying at the edge of the bed, it's unbeatable. Our wand vibrator guide explains the difference.

Who's holding it?

Holding it yourself keeps it exactly where you like it. That doesn't make it any less partnered. Your partner gets to feel what it does to you, and that's a hell of a thing to be inside of.

Letting them hold it can be just as good, especially if you love their attention and you don't want to do the reaching. A quick "stay there" will tell them all they need to know. Or want someone else on the buttons? Remote-control vibrators let you share the job, as long as the shape feels good where it sits. A vibrating cock ring is another way to do it hands-free.

Start low

Vibration can feel very different when it's joining other touch or movement, so start low and work up. The top setting's there if you want it, but you might not. If it gets too intense, ease the pressure or turn it down, and our guide to softening strong vibration has more ideas. A little water-based lube helps a toy glide against your skin.

It's not competition

If your partner's feeling a bit threatened by a vibrator, remind them who's making you feel the rest of it. And when you're squeezing around them because of it, they'll get over any worries pretty quickly. If your position gets awkward, laugh and move. The vibrator came to help, and it's not going anywhere.