Foot Fetish 101: Yes, You Can Ask

Feet are the most popular non-genital turn-on there is, and that's before you count the people who've never admitted it. There are whole corners of the internet dedicated to them. And there's a very good chance that someone you know is sitting quietly at the beach in January having a much better time than everyone else.

So if you're into feet, you're a long way from alone. If your partner's into feet, congratulations: you've got someone who'll happily massage yours for an hour. Everybody wins.

Why feet, though?

Nobody knows for sure, but there's a neat theory. The part of the brain that handles sensation from your feet sits right next to the part that handles your genitals. Some neuroscientists have suggested that signals might cross over a bit, though that's still only an idea. Feet are also packed with nerve endings and they're very ticklish. For plenty of people, there's something else going on too: a power thing, an intimate thing, or being allowed close to something that's usually hidden in a boot all day. Some love the arch, some the toes, some the shoes, some the socks. Whatever it is, it's fine.

How to bring it up

This is where most people panic, but it's only feet. You're not asking for a kidney.

• Start with a massage. It's the easy way in, it's a universally loved activity, and you can see how they respond.
• Say it simply. "I really love your feet. Would you be up for me playing with them some time?"
• Be honest about how much it means. If it's a mild interest, say so. If it's a major part of your sexuality, it's fair for them to know that as well.
• Take "no" gracefully. They might be ticklish, shy or simply not into it. No one owes you their feet.

Our yes, no, maybe list is a low-pressure way of raising it, and you could always blame us. If your partner's feeling self-conscious, tell them what you love. People tend to think their feet are ugly, and it's a pretty heady thing to discover someone disagrees.

What do you actually do with feet?

• Foot massage. Warm your hands and oil up. Work your thumbs along the arch and the ball of the foot, then each toe. Go slow. A massage candle does wonders here.
• Worship. Kissing, licking and sucking the toes. It has a devotional quality for some people, and for others, it's the filthiest thing they've ever seen.
• Foot jobs. Use the soles or arches to stroke a cock, or the toes to tease a clit. It takes more coordination than you'd expect, so use plenty of lube and get yourself into a comfy position, sitting opposite each other with something to lean on. Don't expect to get it right on the first go. Your calves are going to cramp.
• Dominance. A foot on the chest, on the back or on the thigh, with a stern look, can say a lot. For many, this is all about power.
• Stockings, socks and shoes. Plenty of people love the look of a foot in a heel or stockings as much as the foot itself. Lapdance fishnet thigh highs are a cheap, effective way of finding out. Our guide to suspenders and stay-ups might give you some ideas, and yes, socks have their fans too.

Getting your feet ready

Wash them, obviously, particularly if you've been in thongs all day. Scrub off any dead skin, trim your toenails and moisturise. Some people like a pedicure, and others are into feet just as they are, so check before you go to too much effort. If someone's going to have your toes in their mouth, you'll want to be clean, and sort out tinea or any other fungal infections first. Plantar warts can be contagious, too. Foot-to-genital contact with a fungal infection isn't ideal, and a bit of hygiene saves a lot of hassle. Keep lube off the floor, too, as slippery feet and tiles have ended many a good evening.

Making it part of everything else

Feet don't have to be a separate event. A lot of positions keep them close at hand. The T-square keeps feet right near someone's face and hands, and anything legs-up, like a raised-leg missionary, puts ankles and toes just where you want them. Kiss their foot while you're inside them, and see what happens. Or try a feather tickler along the arch, if they can stand it.

Is it weird?

Nope. It's harmless, consensual and extremely common. It only becomes a problem if you're doing it to someone who hasn't agreed, including taking photos of strangers' feet at the beach, which is creepy and can be illegal. Keep it among the willing. Selling foot pics is a whole industry, though, so if you have great arches and bills to pay, we won't judge.

So go on. Ask. The worst that happens is that they say no. The best that happens is the longest foot rub of their lives.