Your Clitoris Is Way Bigger and Way Filthier Than Anyone Told You

The clitoris gets called a little button. Bit rude, considering most of it's tucked away inside your body, wrapped around your vagina and swelling up whenever you get turned on. That's like judging a whole iceberg by the bit sticking out of the water, and then wondering why the ship sank.

The part you can see matters, absolutely. But there's a lot more going on underneath, and once you've got to know the whole thing, a lot of things about your orgasms start to make sense.

What's under the hood?

The small external part is the glans, at the top of the vulva, above the opening you pee from. The hood's a fold of skin that covers it, and it may pull back as you get more turned on. The glans is seriously sensitive. Some people love direct touch, and for others it's far too much. Touching through the hood or around it gives you another way in.

Finding a clit isn't the same as knowing how someone likes it touched. That's worth pointing out, especially to anyone who's been confidently doing the same thing since 2009.

The part you can't see

Inside, the clitoral body splits into two legs, called the crura. Next to them, on either side of your vaginal opening, are the vestibular bulbs. They fill with blood when you're aroused and swell up, a lot like a cock does, and it's why getting properly turned on makes everything feel so different.

You don't need to memorise the names. Just remember that the visible part's only the beginning. It extends through your pelvis, close to your vaginal walls, and that's why grinding, pressure on your mound and being fucked in certain positions can feel so good. It's quite a lot of anatomy for something that still gets treated as optional.

Vulva and vagina aren't the same thing

The vulva's the outside bit, including your labia and clit. The vagina's the canal inside. Calling everything a vagina makes it harder to ask for what you want. "A little higher, near my clit" gives your partner a lot more to go on than "there", especially when "there" has already moved three times.

Everyone likes it differently

Some people love a light flicker, and others like broad pressure or strong vibration. Direct contact isn't automatically better because you've found the right spot. Try both sides, too, as many people have a favourite. And when something feels good, keeping it steady's a very respectable plan. You don't have to welcome a new technique just because someone read an article.

External pleasure deserves a proper place in sex. If penetration isn't doing what you expected, our guide to orgasm and penetration takes the pressure off.

Keep some toys at the bedside

Our clitoral vibrators come in lots of shapes. A narrow tip gives you a tiny contact point, and a broad surface spreads it. Air-pulse toys like the Fun Factory MEA work differently again, and our air-pulse toy guide explains why. None of them know what you like before you do, and that's the fun part. Start with our first vibrator guide, or see what to do when a vibrator feels too intense.

Persistent pain, swelling or any unexplained change means you should speak to a health professional. Otherwise, go and get to know yourself. There's a lot more to you than a button.