You've bought a toy with a little opening at the end, held it against your clit and thought, “Is that it?” Before you write off the purchase and go back to your trusty vibrator, move it a fraction. Air-pulse toys can be fussy about where they sit. Your clit hasn't suddenly become difficult.
An air-pulse toy uses changing air pressure to stimulate the clit inside that opening. The soft rim rests against the surrounding skin. That gives you something different from pressing a vibrating tip directly against yourself, and it changes how you use the bloody thing.
Air pulses feel different from vibration
A vibrator shakes against your body. An air-pulse toy creates pulses of pressure inside its opening. You'll often see these sold as clitoral suction toys, although you aren't meant to feel as though your clit has been clamped in place.
Some people love the pulsing feeling. Others prefer a vibrator they can press, move and rub exactly where they want it. Your old favourite doesn't become shit just because you've bought something newer.
If you're choosing between them, our air-pulse versus vibration comparison covers that decision. Here, we're getting the toy you've got into a position you might actually enjoy.
Place the opening around your clit
Get comfortable enough to reach yourself without holding a sit-up. Place the opening around your clit with gentle pressure, then try the lowest setting. The rim should sit comfortably against your skin, with your clit inside the opening rather than trapped underneath the edge.
If you can hear the toy working but barely feel anything, adjust the angle or move it slightly. Small changes are more useful than immediately cranking up the power and hoping for a bloody miracle.
You don't need to squash it into yourself. If the rim digs in, ease off and reposition it. Once you've found a comfortable spot, give yourself a moment there. Constantly moving it around can make it harder to work out what you like.
Leave the setting alone when it feels good
There can be a strong urge to press the plus button simply because it's there. Curiosity is fair enough. Turning a good wank into a test of how much your clit can tolerate is less appealing.
Try the next setting if you want more intensity. Turn it down, move it away or stop if it feels too much. You haven't failed to appreciate the purchase because your favourite setting is near the bottom.
Air pulses aren't automatically gentler than vibration, either. A different sensation can still be intense. Choose by what feels good today, not by how enthusiastic somebody else was about theirs.
Let your partner follow your lead
Your partner has picked it up and is looking terribly keen. Lovely. You can still show them where to put it before enthusiasm becomes a clit-finding exercise.
Guide their hand to the spot and tell them whether you want it held still. “There, keep it there” is useful information. So is taking over yourself while they kiss you or stay close. Nobody needs sole custody of the toy.
If a position keeps knocking it away, change the position or save the air pulses for a separate part of sex. You don't have to make every toy work in every shag.
Choose an opening and handle you can use comfortably
If you're still shopping, look at the opening as well as the overall size. A comfortable rim and buttons you can reach matter more than a glamorous photo of the toy floating beside a flower.
Our air-pulse toys include different shapes to hold. Think about where your hand will sit when the opening is against your body. Awkward wrist angles are a fairly ordinary way for an exciting purchase to become annoying.
Afterwards, clean around the opening carefully and let the toy dry before storing it. Our guide to toy cleaner and soap covers the care details. Then put it somewhere easy to find. You've finally worked out where it belongs against your clit; losing it behind the bed now would be taking the piss.