Balls Deserve Better: How to Play With Them Properly

Balls have a tough life. They hang around all day, getting jammed in jeans and whacked by small dogs. During sex, they usually get a brief, nervous pat on the way past, as if you are not sure whether they bite. And yet a lot of men say that having their balls played with properly is one of the best feelings in the world. It's time we gave them some respect.

Know what you're dealing with

The skin of the scrotum is incredibly sensitive, with a lot of nerve endings, and it's got the same response to temperature that makes you want to crawl inside yourself at Bondi in June. The testicles inside are something else entirely. They're tender, and direct pressure can cause real pain. So we're mostly playing with the skin, and being very polite to the contents.

And everyone's different. One bloke likes a firm squeeze, while another will shoot through the roof if you breathe on them too hard. So start gently, and ask. "Harder? Softer? Like that?" is a very good question to be asking.

Using your hands

• Cup them. A warm palm underneath, holding the weight with no squeezing, can feel great. Try it during a hand job.
• Tickle. Run your fingernails very lightly across the skin. It's a tease that can make someone's whole body go tight.
• Roll. Gently roll each ball between your fingers. Think of very expensive grapes.
• Tug. Make a ring with your thumb and finger around the top of the sac, above the balls, and pull down slowly. Not everyone's into it, and those that are tend to be very into it. Pull at the moment they're getting close, and see what that does.
• Lube up. A slippery hand changes everything. Wet Stuff Touch is a silky option for a long session, if there are no silicone toys involved.

Using your mouth

Lick them, slowly, with the flat of your tongue. Then gently take one in your mouth, keep your teeth out of it, and hum a little. Yes, hum. It's a tiny vibration, and it's a bit of a party trick. Try taking both in your mouth if you've got the room for it, but don't suck hard, and be mindful of your teeth. Our blowjob guide shows you how to work it into the rest. A flavoured lube is a good idea too, since balls don't always taste great at the end of a long day. Use JO Peach Cobbler or a shower beforehand. Preferably both.

Adding vibration

A little vibrator on the balls is a very different feeling, and it can be overwhelming. So keep it low to start with. The Passion Play Finger Vibe slips over your finger, and it's very gentle, with 21 patterns. It's ideal for a slow tour. A vibrating ring can sit near the base of the balls, too, and the Satisfyer Perfect Pair 1 is specifically made to send its vibration there. Read our cock ring guide first, and don't leave a ring on for more than about 20 minutes.

And while you're down there, the patch of skin right behind them is the perineum, and it's got its own fan club. A firm press there is a bloody good thing to try.

For the kinkier crowd

Ball stretching, ball weights, ball rings and CBT (no, not that kind of therapy; it stands for cock and ball torture) are all out there. It's a big subject, and the rules are simple: go gently, go slowly and stop at any numbness, severe pain or discolouration. You're dealing with delicate tissue, and damage can be permanent. The 9's Sling and Ring is a soft, stretchy place to start if you want the feeling of a ball stretcher. Have a safeword ready, too.

How hard is too hard?

If he's wincing, it's too hard. A sharp or sickening pain deep in the balls is your cue to stop immediately. If there's a sudden, severe pain that doesn't settle within a few minutes, or swelling, it's an emergency, as testicular torsion needs treating within hours. Go to an emergency department. It's rare, but don't wait to see if it passes.

Otherwise, keep them clean and keep checking them. Our guide to testicular self-checks takes about a minute a month, and it's a very good excuse for someone else to have a feel.

So next time you're down there, stop and say hello. They've been waiting a long time.