How to Give a Blowjob That Ruins Them for Anyone Else

Let's get rid of a myth first: a great blowjob has nothing to do with how much you can fit in your mouth. Those videos you've seen were made by people with a lot of practice and a lot of takes. A blowjob that ruins someone for everyone else comes from your hands, your tongue, your pace and the fact that you bloody well look like you want to be there.

So here's how to give a blowjob that's fun for you as well as them.

Take your time getting there

A cock's owner is usually ready well before you are. Make them wait anyway. Kiss their stomach, drag your mouth along their hips, and breathe on them through their undies. Look up at them while you do it. Get them out slowly. If they're squirming before your mouth's even touched them, you've already won.

Where the good stuff is

The head is the most sensitive part, and in particular the frenulum, which is the little ridge on the underside where the head meets the shaft. Most of the rest of the shaft cares more about grip and pressure. Then there are the balls and the perineum, which are often ignored and don't deserve it.

So don't feel you've got to take it all in. Focus on the top few centimetres with your mouth, and let your hand do the rest.

The hand is doing half the work

This is the biggest tip in the article. Wrap a wet hand around the base and move it up and down in time with your mouth, so that it feels as if your mouth goes on forever. They won't know where your mouth stops and your hand starts, and your jaw's going to thank you.

Use plenty of spit, or a flavoured lube. Wet is the whole point. If your hand's dry, you're going to have a bad time. Adam & Eve Strawberry is sugar-free, made for oral and safe with condoms.

What your mouth should do

• Cover your teeth with your lips, more or less. A light graze is hot for some people, but check first. Nobody wants a surprise.
• Use your tongue. Flat against the underside as you go down, and circling around the head when you come up. Flick that frenulum.
• Suck, but gently. It's more of a soft, wet seal than a vacuum cleaner, despite the name.
• Vary it, and then stop varying it. Change things up early on, to tease. When they get close, pick what's working, and keep it up until they come. Don't stop to see how you're going.

Don't forget the balls

Cup them gently in your free hand, give them a soft tug, or lick and suck them, one at a time. Ask how firm they like it, because this varies a hell of a lot. A finger pressed behind the balls, on the perineum, gives some people a jolt from the prostate, right from the outside. Others won't care for it. Find out.

Get comfortable, seriously

You'll last far longer if you aren't kneeling on floorboards with your neck at a bad angle. Try this: they lie back on the bed while you lie between their legs, on your stomach, with your head propped on your arm. Or they stand, and you kneel on a pillow. Or they sit on the edge of the bed. Our oral positions guide has more ideas.

If your jaw gets tired, use your hand for a while and lick instead of sucking. There's nothing wrong with a break, and no one's marking you. And if you gag, slow down and go shallower. It's a reflex, not a failure.

Bring toys into it

A vibrator on the balls while your mouth's busy will surprise people in a very good way. The Passion Play rechargeable bullet is slim and easy to hold in your free hand. Just keep it on the low settings to start with, as balls have strong opinions. If your partner likes it, press it against the perineum too.

Who decides where it ends up?

You do. Swallowing, spitting, a towel or wherever else you've both agreed on is all fine, and there's no prize for any of them. Have the chat earlier, or get them to tell you when they're close, as a courtesy. Being told "I'm about to come" is the least anyone can do. So is not shoving your head down without asking. Hands in your hair are great if you like it, but you get to set the terms.

Keep it safe

Oral sex can pass on STIs, including gonorrhoea, chlamydia, herpes and syphilis, in both directions. Regular testing and condoms both help, and flavoured condoms exist for this very reason. Our oral sex protection guide has the rest. If your partner's not fully hard, carry on regardless. A soft cock can still feel very good, and it's not a sign you've done anything wrong.

The real trick

Look up at them. Moan a bit. Make it clear that you're into it, and you'll feel more into it too. A blowjob's a power position, whichever way it looks. You've got someone completely at your mercy, and all you've got to do is decide how long you'd like to keep them like that.