Boxing Day Sex Toy Sale: What's Actually Worth Buying

It's Boxing Day. You've eaten your bodyweight in ham. The cricket's on, your family's still somehow in your house, and you've gone to hide in the bedroom with your phone. Everyone else is camped outside a Harvey Norman, fighting over a TV. You, on the other hand, are lying down, looking for a discounted vibrator. You've made better decisions than anyone in that car park.

Sales are a great time to get something you've been eyeing off, as long as you don't end up with a giant purple thing you can't explain. Here's how to spend your Christmas cash wisely.

What's actually worth buying on sale

The dear thing you've been umming and aahing over. Big-ticket toys are the best value on sale, since a percentage off a large price saves real money. Our guide to expensive sex toys explains which features deserve your money. Machine owners and wand fans should look here first. For example, a great rumbly wand like the Adam & Eve Her Majesty is the sort of purchase that gets more sensible when you've got a discount to justify it.

The consumables you always run out of. Lube, toy cleaner and condoms are the most boring and the most sensible things to stock up on. Check the use-by dates, then stock up. Wicked Simply Natural and Wet Stuff Touch are a good pair to keep in the drawer, so there's something for everything. Our lube guide explains when to use which.

A replacement for your dying toy. If your favourite's holding a charge for all of six minutes, or has gone sticky, now's the time. Here's how to tell it's time, and why toys go sticky in the first place.

The thing you've been too shy to try. A discount's a very good excuse to try something new. First strap-on? First plug? The Anal Adventures Pleasure Plug is an inexpensive way to find out, with a tapered tip and a flared base.

What's not worth it, however cheap

• A toy you won't use. Fifty percent off something that lives in a drawer is still a waste of money.
• Mystery materials. If the listing won't tell you what it's made of, it's not a bargain. It might even be irritating your bits. Our materials guide shows you what's body-safe.
• Dozens of features you don't need. "Twenty patterns" means 19 you'll never use. Pick the sensation first.
• Bulk lube that'll expire. A 5 kg bottle is a great deal, but only if you're going to use it, or have a very interesting life.
• Clothes in a hopeful size. You aren't going to fit into that after a Christmas ham. Buy for the body you have, which is great, and read our lingerie guide.

How to tell if it's a real deal

• Save it beforehand. Make a list or put items in your cart in early December, and take note of the price. Then you'll see what's really been discounted.
• Compare like with like. Check the model and generation, because "Pro 2" and "Pro 2 Gen 4" are different toys. Our guide to reading product descriptions can help.
• Check postage. The cheapest price often isn't, once shipping's added.
• Know the returns rule. Opened intimate items usually can't be returned because you changed your mind, sale or not, but your Australian Consumer Law rights still apply if something's faulty. Our returns policy sets it out.

Sale stock can go fast too, particularly for popular items. If you want it, get it. Check our vibrators and the rest of the range to see what's on special this year. And keep an eye out, since we don't always list what's discounted until the day.

Discreet delivery, even in the new year rush

Post's slow for a week or two after Christmas, but it'll get there. Everything's sent in plain packaging, and our discreet buying guide has tips on notifications and where to send it, which helps if the whole family's still staying.

A very Boxing Day plan

Do a little research on your phone. Put your favourites in the cart. Stay in bed. Let everybody else fight over TVs. Then, when your new toy arrives in the first week of January, you've got yourself a great start to the year. Happy shopping.