Strap-On Harnesses: Get It Tight, Get It Right, Then Get to Work

You've got them bent over the bed, you're just getting into your rhythm, and your cock starts slowly drooping towards the floor. Nobody wants to stop mid-fuck to hitch a harness back up their arse.

The dildo gets all the attention when you're shopping. Fair enough. But the harness is what holds it to you and lets you drive with your hips. You want one that stays put, feels great and, yes, looks fucking good on you.

Straps or briefs?

A jock-style harness has a hip strap, two leg straps and a front ring. You adjust each one separately, so you can get it tight at the waist without squeezing your thighs. It also frames your bare arse beautifully. Put on your favourite bra or wear it with nothing at all, because straps on bare skin don't need much help to look kinky.

The Adam & Eve Eve's Strap-On is a beginner-friendly harness with fully adjustable straps and two metal rings, so you've got some options when you choose your cock.

Brief-style harnesses pull on like underwear, with a front opening for the toy. There's more fabric and less adjusting, so you can get dressed and get on with it. They have to fit closely, though. Baggy undies are great on a Sunday morning, but they won't hold a dildo steady.

Curvy, wet and other requirements

Everyone deserves to look good fucking someone. The Sportsheets Curvy Divine is designed for fuller figures, with a secure, supportive fit. Want to fuck in the shower? The Sportsheets Deep Dive is made for the shower, bath, pool and hot tub. See our full range of strap-ons for more.

Fit it to your body

Measure around where the waist or hip strap will sit, and your upper thighs if it has leg straps. Choosing the smaller size and hoping for the best is an excellent way to spend the night swearing at a buckle.

Once it's on, sit, bend and thrust. The front should stay steady, and nothing should dig in. Adjust one strap at a time so you can tell what's helping. Check where the buckles land too, because one that's fine when you're standing can be bloody annoying when you kneel on the bed. Loosen it or stop if you get pinching or numbness.

Make sure the cock fits the ring

On an O-ring harness, the shaft goes through the ring and the wide base stays behind it. The ring holds the toy near its base, which sits against you and stops it pulling through. A roomy ring around a thin dildo wobbles, and a tiny ring won't take the toy at all. Neither improves because you're keen to get naked.

Swappable rings let you use several compatible toys. Sets make the first purchase easy, but make sure you'd want that included dildo anyway. Don't buy it just to avoid thinking about sizes.

Choose a dildo you both want

You've chosen your harness, and now you're eyeing off a much bigger dildo, because buying one new thing has apparently made you ambitious. A long or heavy toy gives the harness more to hold and changes how it sits. It also has to suit the person taking it, so ask them what they want first. Our dildo size guide has the measurements. Bigger can wait until someone's actually begging for it.

Try it on first

Fit the toy, adjust everything and move around in it. Learn which buckle does what while you've got the lights on and enough patience to give a shit.

And let your partner help. Having them tighten a strap across your hip while looking you in the eye is foreplay. Ten minutes of arguing over which way a buckle goes is not, so sort out the basics beforehand.

If it slips, our slipping harness guide will find out why. New to all this? Start with our beginner's guide. Then take another look in the mirror and go and do what you came to do.