The Shower Head Guide: Your Favourite Attachment

Somewhere right now, someone's having a very long shower. Their flatmate's banging on the door about the hot water, and they've just yelled, "Nearly finished!", which is true in more ways than one. The detachable shower head is one of the best sex toys ever made, and it was sold to you by a plumber.

If you've got a vulva and you've never tried this, you've got quite an afternoon ahead of you. Everyone else, read on, as there's something for you as well.

Why it works so well

Water gives you a steady, pulsing, all-over pressure that doesn't rub or dry out. It's more like a good air pulse toy than a vibrator, since nothing's actually touching you, and you can change the pressure and the angle as you go. Plus, you're warm and relaxed. No wonder so many people find they can come from it when other things don't work.

How to do it

1. Get the temperature right. Warm, never hot. Test it on your wrist first, as those are delicate bits, and hot water's a nasty surprise.
2. Start with a gentle spray. A wide setting, held a fair way from your body. You can always go closer.
3. Aim from the top down. Let the water run down over your clit and labia, from above. If you've got a clit, this is the way to go, and you can use your fingers to hold your lips open.
4. Find your setting. Try the pulse or massage setting if you've got one. Move it closer or further away, and try different angles.
5. Stay there. As with most things, if it's working, don't change a thing.

The best positions

• Lying in the bath, with your legs up on the taps or on either side of the faucet. You've got a good angle, no balance to worry about and a chance to soak afterwards. If there's a tap you can run a stream from, this is a classic of the genre.
• Sitting on the edge of the bath, or a shower stool, with your feet on the floor.
• Standing with one foot up. It's fine, as long as you're not going to slip. Those knees can go at the crucial moment, so have a hand on the wall, or better yet, sit down. People have been hurt in showers doing far less.

The all-important safety bit

• Don't aim water inside you. Spraying water inside your vagina can upset its balance, and could lead to infection or irritation. Keep it on the outside.
• Don't use it for anal, unless it's a purpose-built attachment at low pressure. Our douching guide explains the safer options, and shower attachments are something to be very careful with.
• Don't use really high pressure, and don't hold a powerful jet directly on your clit for ages. Numbness or stinging means you've gone too far.
• Keep your shower head clean. Old ones can harbour bacteria, so give it a clean every now and then. And use a shower mat, as there's nothing sexy about a broken hip.

Bring a toy into the shower

If your shower head's fixed, or you're tired of being yelled at about the water bill, a waterproof toy does the same job. The Maia Kona has a tiny pineapple body with a serious motor, and it can go right in. For air pulses in the shower, the Satisfyer Pro 2 Gen 4 has an IPX7 waterproof rating. Our waterproofing guide explains what all those numbers mean, and remember that water isn't lube, so our shower sex guide is worth a read too.

What about people with penises?

You can do this too. Warm water on the head of your cock, on the underside and on your balls can be fantastic, and it's a nice way to get started before you move on to using your hand. Just don't expect it to get you all the way there, because it mightn't. Use a good silicone lube when you're using your hand, as water washes away soap and lube pretty quickly. Soap's a bad idea, too, as it stings in your urethra. A wet stroker can be a lot of fun in the shower, as long as it's the kind that can get wet.

Sharing with a friend

Handing a shower head to a partner is a lot of fun. Let them direct it, change the setting and hold it where you tell them. Or have them hold you up while you use it. It's a very clean way to start the evening.

Think of the bill

Australia's a dry country, so we'd be remiss if we didn't mention it. If you're on tank water, or there's a drought on, get a waterproof toy and a bath. You've got a duty to the rest of us, and to your flatmate, who's still out there with a towel.