Sharing Sex Toys: Pass It Around, but Change the Condom First

You've got your favourite toy going, your head's tipped back, and your partner's watching you very closely. And now they want a turn. Fair enough. It's clearly getting a very good review.

Sharing toys is a lot of fun, but the handover takes more than a wipe on the sheet. Clean the toy between people, use a fresh condom where one fits properly, and keep used and clean toys apart. It takes seconds, and it's a very good reason to get your hands all over it again.

Ask before you borrow the favourite

Some people happily share every toy, and others have a vibrator or sleeve they want to keep to themselves. Ask, and take the answer without making it a test of how much they like you. Or pick something new together, and use our couples toy guide for ideas. Shopping for a toy you both want can be a very enjoyable conversation.

Clean it between people

Shared toys can pass on infections through body fluids, even when everyone feels fine and the toy looks clean. Intact, non-porous surfaces such as silicone and glass are much easier to clean thoroughly than porous ones. A soft sleeve made of who-knows-what isn't a great communal choice, and a cracked or deteriorating toy needs retiring.

Clean the handle and controls as well, especially after lubed hands have been on them. A waterproof toy may tolerate a wash that its remote won't, so only wash what's designed for it.

Use a fresh condom for each person

On a toy that a condom covers securely, handovers get very easy. Roll a new one on for each person, and for each change of hole. It's even kind of hot. Try watching your partner roll a condom down your favourite dildo, slowly, before handing it over. A box of Four Seasons Naked Ribbed at the bedside means you're always ready.

Any uncovered parts still need cleaning. Use lube that suits both the condom and the toy, as our condom and lube guide explains. Water-based is the easy option, and oil can damage latex. If a toy has a shape that a condom won't cover properly, don't improvise. Use separate toys, or clean it properly between users.

Keep the clean stuff within reach

Fresh condoms, lube and a clean towel beside the bed save you rummaging through drawers halfway through. Give used toys their own spot so nobody has to ask, "Hang on, was this the clean one?" If you're moving between anal and vaginal play, our toy hygiene guide covers the quick reset. Wash your hands as well.

Finish with a wash, not a promise

Clean everything after use, let it dry completely and put it away. "I'll do it in the morning" has a remarkable habit of turning into an unpleasant discovery three days later.

You don't need to make sharing into a serious meeting. A clear yes, a clean toy and the next condom ready to go will do far more for the mood than pretending a dirty dildo is somebody else's problem.