Sex With a Height Difference: Stop Fucking on Tiptoes

Being picked up and thrown on the bed is one of the better perks of dating someone much taller. So is having someone small enough to wrap right around you. The kissing works beautifully, too, right up until you try to line up the rest of yourselves and one of you is on tiptoes while the other's bent over like they've dropped an earring.

A height difference can make some positions awkward, especially standing ones, but it doesn't mean you're a bad fit. It just means you need a better plan than hoping one of you grows. Here's how to make those extra centimetres work in your favour.

Get horizontal and move your hips

Once you're lying down, your feet don't need to start at the same point. Shift up or down the bed until the parts you want touching line up. That might leave their face near your shoulder. Fine. You can kiss before or after, and your mouths don't need to be permanently attached.

Side-lying makes it especially easy, as the mattress holds you both up. Our spooning guide explains how to adjust. And the smaller partner on top is always a good idea. They get full control, and you get a great view.

Use the edge of the bed

If one of you lies back or sits on the edge while the other stands or kneels, the height difference disappears. Taller partner? You can stand while your partner lies with their hips at the edge, legs up against your chest. Smaller partner? You might be kneeling, or on the bed on all fours. It depends on your bed and your legs, so try it before you add penetration. Our bed-edge guide can help you through the options.

Use a wedge, not a balancing act

A firm pillow under your hips can solve a lot. The Adam & Eve Inflatable Position Pillow lifts you to where you need to be, and it deflates when you're done. Make one change at a time, as more height can create pressure you don't want.

Don't stand on a stool or a pile of objects to make up the difference. The extra height isn't worth an unstable landing, and there are better ways to get close than putting your ankle at risk.

Use it to your advantage

Being big or small brings its own fun. If you're tall, you can reach everything at once: mouth on their neck, hand between their legs. If you're small, you can be moved around, held and pinned, if that's what you're into. Or you can climb on top and take charge of someone twice your size, which is a very good feeling indeed.

Bring hands and toys to the person

External touch doesn't need your hips to line up. Sit or lie where you can reach, use your hands or add a bullet vibrator if you both want one. Let the person getting touched guide it, and swap if your arm starts to ache. Our vibrator position guide has more.

Say what needs moving

"Come up a bit" or "move your knee" gives your partner something they can actually do. They can't tell your ankle's cramping just because you've gone quiet.

Stop if anything hurts, and don't force penetration at an awkward angle. Keep what fits your bodies, even if it looks nothing like the picture. You're having sex, not re-enacting a diagram.