Sex on the Floor: Too Horny to Make It to the Bedroom

The kiss gets a little more enthusiastic. Their shirt's gone, your jeans are halfway down, and the bed suddenly seems unnecessarily far away. The lounge-room floor's right there, and it's looking pretty good. So down you go. There's something about being too horny to make it to the bedroom that no mattress can match.

Sex on the floor can make an ordinary night feel completely different. The floor's also hard, and it's not on your side, so a little thought makes a big difference to how it ends.

Choose your spot

Clear enough room for both bodies to move. Shift the coffee table, and anything sharp or breakable. A clean covering helps, as long as it stays put, and a thin throw over a hard floor's still a thin throw over a hard floor. Rugs slide, floorboards bruise, and carpet burn is a shit souvenir. If your hips or knees object right away, the bed's a very sensible alternative.

Look after your knees, elbows and hips

A floor doesn't cushion you like a mattress, so positions that are easy in bed can feel very different when a knee's taking the load. Grab a couch cushion. Keep your movements small enough to stay comfortable. Our wrist and knee comfort guide has ways to reduce the work your joints do.

Try lying down before anything ambitious

Lying side by side's a lot simpler than kneeling or balancing. You can kiss, use your hands or try a comfortable position, and our low-effort sex guide has more ideas. The person on the bottom cops all the floor, so put a cushion or a folded blanket under their hips or back. Or get on top, and make them take the hit for once. Bent over the couch's another great option that takes your knees out of it. Skip the lifts and balancing acts.

Keep the useful bits within reach

Bring your lube, barriers and any toys where they won't get knocked over or lain on. And if you're on the good rug, you might want some protection. A Master Series Play Sheet folds up small and stops any accidents, though it can get slippery. Our waterproof blanket guide has other options. A small bullet vibrator is the easiest toy to have around. Just keep it from being pressed against the hard floor.

Plan on getting back up

Consider that part, too. If either of you finds that hard, choose a higher surface instead of relying on hope and a coffee table. Stay on the floor while it's fun, then move if you want. A change of venue can be very sexy, and it doesn't have to be a commitment. The bed will still be there for round two.