Scissoring: Legs Tangled, Clits Together and Grinding Till You Shake

Your legs are tangled together and your pussies are pressed tight, slick and hot. You're holding each other's thighs and grinding, and you can feel exactly what it does to them. Scissoring has a very obvious name for something that can still leave you both asking whose leg goes where.

It usually means crossing or interlocking your legs, so your genitals can rub together. You'll also hear it called tribbing or tribadism. Some people swear by it, and others think it's something invented by porn directors. The only way to know is to try it.

Work out what you mean first

One of you might picture lying on your sides, and the other might imagine something more upright. Say which you mean. Try lying on your sides facing each other, with one leg over and one leg under, and shuffle in until you meet. Or have one of you lie on your back while the other straddles a thigh. A thigh between the legs counts, and it's often easier.

You should both be able to shift or move apart without trapping a knee. If an angle hurts, untangle first. Our guide to sex position names explains why one word doesn't always mean one picture.

Find the pressure you like

Rubbing can feel completely different with a small change of angle, pressure or rhythm. Closer contact doesn't automatically mean better. Make one small change at a time and say what it does. "Less pressure" and "a little to the side" are both useful. Hold on to each other's legs for leverage, and grind in small circles rather than big movements.

Use lube, as it stops things dragging and makes it all a lot more slippery. Our water-based lube range has plenty of options.

Keep your knickers on if you like

You can rub through clothing as well. Soft fabric can feel surprisingly hot, and it gives you something different. Adjust your clothes or change position rather than grinding through discomfort.

Add something else

Hands and toys can make it even better. Slip a bullet vibrator between you, and you'll both feel it. Or try a vibrating pad like the Grinders Rocker, and take turns. Our grinding toy guide has more.

You don't have to like it

Scissoring isn't compulsory lesbian sex, a test of experience or proof of anyone's identity. Some people love it, and plenty don't bother with it at all. Direct genital contact can transmit STIs, too, including through skin contact, so talk about protection and testing where it's relevant.

Our non-penetrative sex guide has more ideas. Keep whatever feels good, and ditch the rest. You've got much better uses for your legs than a cramp.