Grinding Toys: Climb On, Rub Yourself Stupid and Keep It All on the Outside

Plenty of people know exactly what a pillow can do. You lie face down, you press against it and move your hips, and nothing's ever worked quite as well since. If rubbing against something feels better than putting something inside you, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. You just need a better pillow.

Grinding toys give you a surface to press and rub against on the outside. Some are plain pads, while others add bumps, curves or vibration. You climb on, put your weight where you want it, and ride until you can't feel your thighs.

Move against the toy, not the other way around

A grinding pad gives you much more contact than a little vibrating tip. You move against it, changing the pressure with your hips, and that's a very different feeling from holding something on yourself. Start with light contact and small movements. Shift the toy around until the part you want is right against your clit or vulva. Then lean forward, lean back and see what changes.

Keep it steady

The pad slips away. You retrieve it. It slips again. At some point, this stops being masturbation and becomes a fairly shit game of chase. Put it on a stable surface where you can control your weight, and a towel underneath can help it stay put.

Not every pad's meant to take your full weight, as some are made to be held. So check the listing to see how yours should be used.

Bumps change everything

Bumps, ribs and raised curves focus the pressure differently from a smooth surface. The Evolved Bump & Grind is silky-soft liquid silicone with sculpted bumps and a raised, winged bump at the end for your clit. It's also fully waterproof. Start with lighter pressure, as you may not need the most pronounced texture you can find. Use a little water-based lube on silicone pads to stop any dragging, as that makes a big difference.

Add vibration if you want it

A plain pad leaves all the work to your movement and pressure. A vibrating pad gives you something more to ride. The Grinders Rocker has dual motors, plush silicone and a remote, so someone else can take over the buttons while your hands are busy. The Gender X Shifting Gears vibrates and heats up as well. If you'd prefer something small that you can move with your hand, browse the clitoral vibrators.

Let your partner join in

There's something extremely hot about watching someone ride a pad. Your partner can hold it steady on their thigh, or sit back and enjoy the view while working the remote. Or you could ride it on top of them, with them holding your hips. Tell them where you want it and when to stop moving, and they'll be very happy to help.

Keep it clean

Clean the surface afterwards, including around all those raised details, and let it dry fully. Our toy cleaner vs soap guide explains how. Then put your pad where you can reach it next time. Your pillow's earned a rest.