Paddles vs Floggers: Do You Want to Be Spanked or Whipped?

You're over their knee, or you're bent over the end of the bed. You can hear them breathing behind you, and you can feel the air move right before it lands. There's a crack, a heat that blooms across your arse, and a sound out of your mouth you didn't plan. Then they ask you, quite politely, if you'd like another.

You mention trying a paddle, and your partner asks whether you mean holding it or feeling it. It's a very fair question, and possibly the most interesting thing they've said all week. Paddles and floggers both fall under impact play, but they feel, move and look completely different.

Paddles: a good, honest spanking

A paddle has one solid surface, and it does what it says. It's the most direct route to a hot, tingling arse, and it makes a noise that gets everyone's attention. One of you takes charge, and the other gets to hand it over. Seeing it lying on the bed beforehand does half the job.

Paddles vary in weight, flex and surface, and padding softens things, while a rigid face gives less. Then there's the message. The Edge CUNT Silicone Paddle has the word itself imprinted on it, in case anyone was wondering what you think of them right now. Browse our paddles for shapes that suit you. A cute heart-shaped one isn't automatically gentle, and the pink one still deserves proper handling.

Floggers: all drama and sting

A flogger has a handle and a bunch of soft tails, and you can't mistake it for anything else. Put one beside a bottle of lube, and your bedside table's saying far more about your plans than the candle ever could.

It's also not just for hitting. Dragged slowly over bare skin, those tails feel incredible, and you can spend ages doing only that. The Sportsheets Velvet Noir Chain Flogger mixes silky faux leather with cool hematite chains, for teasing as well as striking. Tail width, length and material all change how it handles, so have a look through our flogger range. Looking pleased with yourself while holding one is the easy part. Controlling the tails takes learning, and long ones can wrap around somewhere you didn't mean to touch.

Sting or thud?

People often describe impact as "sting" or "thud". Sting is sharp, bright and on the surface. Thud is heavy and deep, and it spreads. They're feelings, not toy categories, as either one can change with the material, the weight and how it's used.

What matters is what the person receiving it enjoys. Someone else's idea of gentle doesn't settle anything, and a loud crack doesn't tell you how much force was used. Start much lighter than you think you should, build up slowly and warm up the skin with your hands first. It's a lot hotter when it builds.

Learn before you swing

It's worth giving the handling as much attention as your outfit. Practise on a pillow first, and learn placement and control from a reputable educator before using anything new on a partner. Agree on limits and a stop signal.

The fleshy part of the arse and the upper thighs are the place to start. Avoid the head, neck, spine, kidneys and joints, and stop for unwanted pain or numbness.

So what's it going to be?

If you've been thinking about being spanked, get a paddle. If it's the tails, the show and the slow drag across skin, get a flogger. Neither one's a prize you earn for being kinky enough. If you keep coming back to being in charge rather than the hitting, our first bondage kit guide has other ideas.

And leave time to settle together afterwards, with some cuddling and a bit of cream for that glowing arse. Our aftercare guide covers the rest. Now that they've asked which end you'd like to be on, it's probably time to answer.