Your First Bondage Kit: Less Gear, More Begging

"Want to tie me up?" is one of the hottest questions you can ask in bed, and it's a short one. The shopping list that follows can get ridiculous, though. Five minutes later you're looking at a twelve-piece set and wondering if the spare room needs converting.

It doesn't. All you need is something to take away their hands, something to take away their eyes and a partner who's already getting wet or hard just thinking about it. The rest is teasing.

What's actually turning you on?

Is it being held down and not being able to do a thing about it? Not knowing where the next touch will land? Or being the one who decides when they get to come? Talk about it first, including what's off limits, and pick a safeword. Then buy for whichever idea made your stomach flip.

A blindfold: the cheapest kink in the shop

Take away someone's sight and every touch gets louder. A breath on the neck, a fingertip on the inner thigh, a pause that goes on for far too long. Suddenly the person who's seen you eat cereal over the sink is a complete mystery. A blindfold can be your whole first purchase, and it'll still be a very good night.

The OUCH! 3D Mask has contoured eye pockets, so nothing presses on your eyelids while you wait to find out what's next. For true darkness, the memory foam EDGE Lights Out blocks every bit of light. If you want them to catch glimpses of you instead, the Veiled Vision Lace Blindfold lets them see just enough to get desperate.

Cuffs: all the helplessness, none of the knots

There's a moment when you test the cuffs and they don't give, your partner smiles, and your whole body goes hot. That's what you're paying for. Purpose-made cuffs get you there without learning a single knot, and rope can wait until you've decided you love this.

The Sportsheets Beginners Bondage Fantasy Kit is the one I'd buy first. You get 4 adjustable hook-and-loop cuffs on tie-able straps for bedposts or chair legs, plus a soft blindfold, so you can have someone spread out and unable to see in about two minutes. Hook-and-loop also rips open fast when you need it to.

Keep the cuffs loose enough to slide two fingers under, and undo them straight away for pain, tingling, numbness or coldness. Keep anything that releases them within reach. Stay in the room, stay sober, and if your partner says stop, stop.

A feather tickler: for slow, mean teasing

Your hands and mouth will do plenty, but a feather makes someone squirm in a way hands can't. Run it up the inside of a thigh, across a nipple and along the hip, stopping just before they want you to. Then ask if they'd like more, and make them say it.

The OUCH! Feather Tickler is 27 cm of very bad intentions, with a grip for easy handling. Some people find tickling unbearably sexy, and others will try to kick it across the room, so test it early. The sensory play range has plenty more, and our blindfold and sensory play guide is full of ideas.

Bundle or build your own?

A ready-made bondage kit saves you deciding, as long as you want what's in the box. Two things you can't wait to use beat eight things you feel you ought to try. Want to save a bit? Build your own kit and get 10% off 3 eligible items, or 15% off 4 or more.

Leave suspension gear, anything around the neck and anything you can't undo quickly out of your first night. If you're curious about tying instead, our cuffs vs rope guide explains the difference. Then browse the wider bondage range once you know what got you going. The spare room can stay a spare room, for now.