How to Choose a Dildo You'll Actually Want to Ride

Buying a dildo because it looks impressive is how people end up with a monster in the drawer that only comes out to scare guests. You want the one you reach for at 11pm when you're horny and can't stop thinking about it.

So start with how you want to feel. Stretched? Stroked in one perfect spot? Riding something stuck to the shower wall with your eyes closed? Work that out, and size, shape and firmness start choosing themselves.

Size: how full do you want to feel?

Thickness is what makes you feel full, and that's the number to look at first. Length only matters if you love going deep, and you don't have to use every centimetre. If you already own something you like, compare its size with the listing and ask yourself whether you want more, less or the same again. Our dildo size guide makes the numbers easier to picture.

Starting out? The REALROCK Realistic 5'' is 2.8 cm wide with 10.5 cm to play with, so you can get to know it without bracing yourself. It's smooth and streamlined with a suction base, and a very easy yes for your first time.

Shape: cock-shaped, curved or from another world?

A realistic dildo gives you the head, the ridge and the fantasy of someone specific. Close your eyes, slide it in and picture whoever you like. Nobody needs to know. If that's what turns you on, the realistic range has plenty of cock to choose from.

Rather not be reminded of anyone? Non-realistic dildos skip the anatomy lesson and focus on feel. The REALROCK Non Realistic has a thick top made to press right on your favourite spot, and a base that works with a suction cup or a harness.

A curve is worth having if you love focused pressure on your front wall. Ridges and bumps make each stroke more noticeable, while a smooth shaft keeps it simple. And if you've ever had a thing for dragons, we won't judge you. The fantasy range is that way.

Feel: soft and giving, or firm and unrelenting?

A softer dildo gives with your body as you move, and a firmer one lets you feel every bit of pressure. Dual density gives you both.

The Colours Dual Density 5'' is firm inside and soft outside, which is about as close to the real thing as silicone gets. With a strong suction cup, it's ready to go when you are. Stick to water-based lube with silicone toys, and they'll stay silky for years.

Glass doesn't give at all, and that's its appeal. Every stroke lands exactly where you aim it, and it warms up quickly against your body. The Creature Cocks Dragon Glass adds an arched curve and a bumpy spine, and it's a very pretty thing to leave out on the bedside table. Our silicone vs glass guide compares the two.

Suction cups and harnesses: for hands-free fun

A suction cup changes everything. Stick your dildo to the shower tiles, a chair or a smooth floor, then back onto it or ride it at whatever pace you like, with both hands free for your clit, your nipples or your partner's hair. Our suction-cup guide has more ideas.

Want one with a sense of humour? The Master Series The Finger is a giant, girthy middle finger with a suction base that also fits most strap-on harnesses. Giving your partner the finger has never been so well received.

Planning on anal? Choose a dildo with a wide flared base that stays outside, use plenty of lube and stop if it hurts. Then browse the full dildo collection and pick the one you're already imagining.