What to Text After a Hookup: You've Seen Them Naked, You Can Send a Message

Last night, you were confident enough to take your clothes off in front of them, and you said some things you'd never repeat in daylight. This morning, you've spent twelve minutes on one text. You've written "Hey", deleted it, written "Heyyy", and shown it to a friend. Sex can be a lot less intimidating than a little blue send button.

You don't need a three-day waiting rule or a strategy. You can be warm and flirty without accidentally proposing marriage. An exclamation mark has never booked a celebrant.

If you want to see them again, ask

"Last night was bloody good. Want to do it again this weekend?" gives them something to answer. Keep it in your own voice. You don't need to write like someone who owns a velvet smoking jacket if you spent last night eating toast naked in their kitchen.

Mention something you really enjoyed. Their ridiculous joke, the kiss at the door, that thing they did with their hand. Then suggest a day or a plan. Being keen's allowed, and making them decode your message so you can pretend you don't care is a waste of everyone's time.

Flirt without sending a graphic recap

"You've been distracting me all morning" says plenty when you both know why. So does "I can still feel you." Keep it at a level you know is welcome. Having sex last night doesn't mean they want an explicit review at 9 am during their commute. If they flirt back, enjoy it. Our sexting guide can take it from there.

Want another hookup rather than a relationship? Say so when you make plans. Our guide to keeping it casual helps with the wording.

If you don't want another date

You enjoyed the night, but you don't want to repeat it. Their message arrives, and you're thinking of pretending you've got an extremely busy month. A brief, kind answer's better: "Thanks for last night. I had a great time, but I don't want to take this further." Don't add "maybe later" unless you mean it, and don't offer friendship just because you're uncomfortable.

Send it, then stop staring at your phone

They might reply right away. They might be asleep, at work or looking for the sock they left under your bed. Go about your day. Don't send three follow-ups, delete one and then ask if the first one sounded weird. If they answer warmly but dodge the invitation, ask clearly once. If there's still no plan, leave it there. And if they've left something behind, just arrange to return it. A forgotten T-shirt isn't a reason to hold on.

If they say yes, make a plan

They want to see you again. Excellent. Pick a day, sort the details and enjoy looking forward to it. If you're inviting them over, our guide to talking about staying the night covers that.

While you're at it, restock the bedside drawer. A fresh box of Four Seasons Naked Ribbed means round two's ready. Now put your phone down and eat your breakfast. You've sent a message that sounds like you. They've already seen you naked, and they're still texting.