Sex Pillow or Regular Pillow? Get Your Hips Up and Hit the Spot

You shove a pillow under your hips, settle into a promising position and immediately squash it flatter than yesterday's hair. Now you're rearranging the bedding while your partner waits, naked and extremely available. But you've felt what that little bit of lift can do. A few centimetres of height, and suddenly they're hitting something you'd very much like them to keep hitting.

That's what a sex pillow is for. It's a firm wedge or ramp that holds your hips at an angle that doesn't budge, so you can stop holding yourself up and focus on what's being done to you. Sometimes your normal pillow's enough. Sometimes that foam triangle deserves its place beside the vibrator.

Try the one you already own

An ordinary pillow adds a bit of cushioning and height, and it's already paid for. If it's working, carry on enjoying yourself. But soft pillows compress and slip around as you move, and adding three more usually just leaves you wrestling a pile of bedding.

So work out what's bugging you. Are your hips sinking? Is your shoulder sore? Do you keep stopping to move the pillow back? A good purchase should solve something more specific than "the ad looked horny".

A proper wedge holds the angle

A firm wedge or a longer ramp stays where it's put, and it holds you there. Lie on your back with your hips raised and your partner gets a better angle at your G-spot. Lie over it on your stomach and you can be fucked from behind, or grind on a toy, with your arse in the air and no effort at all. The Adam & Eve Inflatable Position Pillow has a slanted wedge shape and deflates to hide away.

Ready to invest in something serious? The Pivot Positioner Plus XL is a big, soft foam ramp that gives you a long supported surface. Or look at the inflatable version if storage is tight. Our bedroom furniture collection has more. Think about where you want the support, not just which one looks most serious.

More height isn't always better

A taller wedge changes the position more, and during penetration, that can change how deep it goes and where the pressure lands. A small change can feel incredible, while a big one could have you asking your partner to back off straight away.

Choose a height you can settle on comfortably, then adjust together. "A bit lower" saves a lot of awkward wriggling, and our guide to saying what you want during sex can help with the rest. If pain or a mobility condition is why you're shopping, get advice for your body. A pillow can give you support, but it can't tell you why something hurts.

You'll want a washable cover

Lube, sweat and naked bodies are all going to meet this pillow. A removable, washable cover makes life much easier, and a protective layer keeps moisture out of the foam. Not every pillow has both. Water-resistant fabric and a fully waterproof barrier aren't the same, so check what you're getting.

Then think about where it goes afterwards. A big ramp won't magically shrink when your mum comes round. Measure your wardrobe while you've still got pants on.

Which do you need?

Stay with your regular pillow if you just need some cushioning and it stays comfortable. Get a wedge for a firm, steady angle. Go for a ramp when you want more of your body supported. And if what you're really after is a new sensation, our couples toy guide may help more than extra foam.

The best pillow's the one you forget about the moment you start. Let it do its job while you get on with yours.