Sex Pillow or Regular Pillow? Give Your Hips Some Help

You put a pillow under your hips, settle into a promising position and promptly squash the thing flatter than yesterday's hair. Now you're rearranging bedding while your partner waits, naked and extremely available.

A sex pillow or wedge can offer firmer support. Whether you need one depends on what you're trying to make easier. Sometimes your normal pillow is enough. Sometimes the foam triangle deserves its place beside the vibrator.

Try the pillow you already own

An ordinary pillow can add cushioning or a little height, and it's already paid for. If it supports you comfortably, carry on enjoying yourself.

The snag is that a soft sleeping pillow tends to compress. It can also slip as you move. Adding three more may leave you wrestling a pile of bedding instead of getting the support you wanted.

Notice the actual annoyance. Are your hips sinking? Is your shoulder uncomfortable? Do you keep stopping to move the pillow back? A useful purchase should solve something more specific than “the advert looked horny”.

A firmer wedge holds an angle more steadily

A purpose-made foam wedge is generally firmer and angled. A ramp offers a longer sloping surface. Those shapes can support your body while changing height, reach or the angle between you and your partner.

The appeal is being able to enjoy the position instead of constantly holding yourself there. Your attention can return to the person you're having sex with. A fairly important member of the evening's entertainment.

Our bedroom furniture collection includes support options to compare. Think about where you want support and how much space the pillow needs, rather than buying the biggest one because it looks more serious.

More height isn't always more comfortable

A higher wedge changes the position more. During penetration, that may also change depth and pressure. A small adjustment might feel lovely; a bigger one might have you immediately asking your partner to move back.

Choose a height you can settle onto comfortably and adjust together. Our guide to saying what you want during sex is useful here. “A bit lower” can save a lot of awkward wriggling.

If pain or a mobility condition is the reason you're shopping, get advice suited to your body. A sex pillow can be a support, but it can't diagnose why something hurts.

A washable cover earns its keep

Lube, sweat and naked bodies are rather likely to meet this pillow. A removable washable cover makes cleanup easier, while a protective inner layer helps keep moisture away from foam. Not every pillow includes both.

Water-resistant fabric and a fully waterproof barrier aren't the same thing. Work out what can be washed and what stays protected underneath before deciding where the pillow will spend its evenings.

Also decide where it goes afterwards. A large ramp can be useful, but it won't magically shrink when your mum comes round. The wardrobe measurement is worth doing while you're still wearing pants.

Buy the support you'll actually use

Choose an ordinary pillow for simple cushioning if it stays comfortable. Consider a wedge when you want firmer, steadier angled support. Look at a ramp when a longer supported area is what you're missing.

If the real wish is a new sensation, our couples' toy guide may be more relevant than extra foam.

The best pillow is the one you stop thinking about once you're having a good time. Let it do its job while you get on with yours.