Remote or App-Controlled Vibrators? Who's Got Their Finger on Your Button?

You hand your partner the controls. They look at the buttons, then at you, and a slow smile starts spreading across their face. They press something. You grab the arm of the couch. They press something else, and this is suddenly the most interesting Thursday you've had all year.

A remote and a phone app both let someone change a vibrator's settings without touching it. The real differences are where that person's going to be and how much they want to play. Start with the night you've got in mind, then choose your buttons.

Remote: leave your phone out of it

A dedicated remote keeps bin-night reminders out of your sex life. There's no app, no login and no screen, just a small handset your partner can work by touch while they stare at you. The Selopa Egg Me On is a neat little example. It's also great solo, when the great romance of the evening is not having to reach awkwardly for a button. Our remote-controlled vibrators are the place to start.

App: for the tinkerers

One of you finds a setting and wants it left alone. The other has noticed there are more buttons and feels they should investigate. If that second one's the person with the controls, an app gives them plenty to play with: custom patterns, saved favourites and a big screen. If you'd rather keep your eyes on your partner, go with a handset. Extra settings don't automatically mean extra pleasure.

When they're a flight away

This is where apps really shine. You've finally found a time when you're both home, both awake and nobody has to leave in ten minutes. You lie back and call them, and they start playing with you from the other side of the country. With a proper long-distance feature, they can control your toy over the internet while it connects to the phone beside you.

Bluetooth alone is a nearby connection, and it won't reach someone's bedroom across Australia through the strength of your feelings. So check that it has actual partner control before you buy. The Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 4 brings app control to a famous air-pulse toy. Browse our app-controlled vibrators for other choices, and read our long-distance toy guide for the full setup.

It still has to feel good

The connection works. The controls look great. Unfortunately, the toy needs nudging back into place every time you get comfortable. You've bought a very clever vibrator with a very annoying fit. So choose a shape and contact you love before you get distracted by the app, and see our wearable fit guide if you're going hands-free. App control doesn't make a toy any more powerful. It just changes how you drive it.

Get connected before you get naked

Pair the toy and try changing the settings before you settle in. Charge the handset, and bring your phone if you're using an app. Walls, distance and bodies can interrupt signals, so give it a run through in the positions you've planned.

Keep your play private, hand over control when you want to, and make sure the toy's own stop button is within reach. A remote's great for a phone-free night in the same room. An app earns its place when you want the extra controls or the long-distance fun. Either way, there's someone about to be very pleased with themselves.