Nipple Play That Goes Beyond a Polite Tweak

Most nipples get about nine seconds of attention on the way to somewhere else. A quick squeeze, a bit of a twist, as if someone's trying to find a better radio station, and then everyone moves on. Meanwhile, nipples on all sorts of bodies have got enough nerve endings to light up parts of the brain you'd expect from somewhere much further south. Some people can come from them alone. They deserve better.

Everyone's are different, so find out

Some nipples love being bitten. Some can barely handle a light touch. Others feel almost nothing, and they change with hormones, too. Men's nipples are just as capable of this, and a lot of blokes have never had anyone try. Don't assume anything. Ask, or go slowly and watch what happens.

Start by not touching them

Work your way in. Run your fingers across the whole chest, kiss around the areola, and go everywhere except the nipple itself. Breathe on it, and let it stiffen in the cold air. When someone's arching their back to get their nipple into your mouth, you've done this correctly.

Then build it up

• Light. A soft fingertip across the tip, or a wet thumb in small slow circles.
• Wet. Flat of the tongue, slow licks, and a soft suck. Then blow on it, so it goes cold.
• Firmer. Roll it between your finger and thumb, and pinch a little harder as they get more turned on. People can take far more when they're aroused than when they're not.
• Teeth. Gently. Graze, then bite, and let them tell you how far to go.
• Everywhere at once. Do it while you're fucking them, or going down on them, or while they're touching themselves. Nipples add a lot to a party.

Temperature and texture

An ice cube on a nipple followed by a warm mouth is a very old trick, and it still works. A feather or a soft flogger gets interesting, too. A warming or cooling lube is a cheap way to change everything, and a massage candle gives you a nice warm pour. If you want to go further, read our guide to pinwheels.

A vibrator's not just for downstairs

Hold a small vibrator against a nipple, on a low setting. It's a surprise for a lot of people, and it's a great way to spend a few minutes. The Maia Indi has a textured bulb that's just about the right size, or you can get the Passion Play Finger Vibe onto a fingertip, and your hand's doing double duty.

Nipple clamps, for the brave

Clamps give a steady pressure that builds into an ache and, for some people, a very particular kind of bliss. The surprise comes when you take them off, as the blood rushes back and it hurts far more than putting them on. A lot of people love that, and a lot of people swear loudly. Our nipple clamps guide covers all of it.

The Sportsheets Midnight Muse nipple jewellery comes with a chain between the clamps. That chain's there for tugging. Give it a gentle pull during sex, and watch their eyes roll back. If you'd like something with a little sound, the S&M Shadow Bell set has bells on it, so everyone's going to know when you're moving.

Use clamps carefully. Start loose, and leave them on for only a few minutes at first, because numbness is a sign to take them off. Remove them slowly. Skip clamps on broken skin, new piercings, or sore or infected nipples, and be careful if you're breastfeeding. That's one to check with your doctor first.

Can you really come from nipple play?

Some people can, and studies suggest nipple stimulation lights up similar parts of the brain as genital touch. It usually takes time, plenty of arousal and a person who knows what they're doing. If it doesn't happen, you haven't failed. It's a very pleasant way to not succeed, and you can always try again. Our orgasm pressure guide has more on that.

So next time, give them more than nine seconds. Give them twenty minutes, and see who's begging by the end of it.