How to Keep Flirting With Someone Who's Seen You Clean the Shower Drain

You still want your partner. You do. You watched them walk across the kitchen this morning and had a very specific thought. Unfortunately, the last three things you've actually said to them were "Where's the charger?", "Did you put the bins out?" and "What do you want for dinner?"

Long-term relationships give you plenty to talk about, and not much of it sounds like two people who'd like to tear each other's clothes off. The good news is you don't need a date-night spreadsheet. You just need to remind someone that you still want to fuck them.

Tell them they're hot, not just helpful

"Thanks for doing the dishes" is great. "You look bloody good in that shirt" does a very different job. If every compliment's about being useful, your partner could reasonably wonder if you've noticed them as anything other than staff.

Pick something you really want. Their legs, their smile, the way they look just out of the shower. Be specific. A quiet "I can't stop looking at your arse" while they're making toast beats a paragraph nobody believes.

Send a text that isn't about dinner

"You looked so good leaving this morning" takes less effort than a long talk about where the spark went. Or "I've been thinking about Saturday night all day." Keep it in your own voice. If you're normally blunt and funny, be blunt and funny. Suddenly writing like a romance novel will only worry them. Our sexting guide has more ideas.

Let the kiss last longer

The quick hello kiss has its place. So does the kind that makes you both forget what you were about to ask. Try ten seconds longer than usual, pressed against the bench. Put your phone down first. It doesn't have to lead to sex, though, because affection gets a lot less appealing when every touch comes with an invoice.

Use the jokes only you two get

You've got history, and it's great material: the ridiculous nickname, the look across a room, the thing that happened on that holiday. A familiar joke can be very flirty if there's warmth in it. A dig at their body or a complaint dressed up as banter isn't. Let them be funny back. Half the fun of flirting with someone who knows you is that you don't need to be polished.

Make a night in less predictable

If you're both up for it, a game gives you something better to do than choose what to watch. Spin for Sex is an easy one to start with, and our couples game guide has plenty more. Or mention a toy you've both been eyeing off. Shopping together lets the flirting start well before anything arrives, and our dirty talk guide can give you the confidence to say it out loud.

None of this needs a daily target. You're just reminding someone that you want them. They've seen you clean the shower drain, and you still want them to want you. That's pretty fucking romantic, if you think about it.