Dental Dams: How to Go Down on Someone and Stay Protected
The name sounds like something you'd reluctantly book an appointment for. In fact, it's a thin, flexible sheet that goes between your mouth and someone's pussy or arse. You can stay down there as long as you like, and you'll still feel a lot through it.
It helps reduce STI exposure while you go down on someone. If condoms were the only barrier you'd been told about, here's what you've been missing. There's very little mystery to it.
Choose an intact latex or polyurethane dam
Use a new, in-date dam with no tears. Polyurethane's an option if latex is a problem. Buy your supplies before you need them, as some sexual health services and pharmacies offer them, and you don't want to be looking around at midnight.
Keep the sheet between mouth and skin
Wash your hands, open the packet carefully, and lay the dam flat over the vulva or anus. Hold it in place with your hands. Keep the same side against the body, and don't flip it over or stretch it tight. If you're giving it, you've got your hands busy, and it might make you want to get creative with your tongue.
A dab of compatible water-based or silicone lube on the side touching the skin can help it feel much better, and it reduces the chance of tearing. Wicked Simply Natural is a good simple choice. It also carries sensation better than you'd think. Some people find a little flavoured lube on the mouth side makes it a whole lot more appealing, if it's made for oral.
Use a fresh one when you change areas or partners
Swap to a new dam between anal and vulval contact, between partners and for each new sex act. Afterwards, put it in the bin, not the toilet. It's not reusable, even if you're feeling very thrifty. Dams reduce risk, but they don't remove every possibility of infection. Our oral sex and STI guide has more.
You can make one from a condom
Use a new latex or polyurethane condom. Unroll it, cut off the tip and the ring at the bottom, and cut along one side. Then open it into a flat sheet. Do this away from anyone's body, taking care not to puncture or tear it. It's handy to know when you've got a condom and a very willing mouth, and nothing else.
Ask for what you want
"I'd like to use a dam" is enough. You don't need to defend the preference. If someone's sulking about it, they're also not going down on you tonight. Our guide to direct bedroom talk keeps these requests simple, and it applies when you're the one asking for something, too.
Get the barrier sorted, get comfortable with our oral sex position guide, and take your time. There's still plenty to enjoy through a thin sheet of latex.