Dental Dams: Protection for Going Down, Minus the Mystery

The name sounds like something you'd reluctantly book an appointment for. The actual job is much more relevant to your sex life: a dental dam is a thin sheet that sits between your mouth and a partner's vulva or anus during oral sex.

It helps reduce STI exposure while you go down on someone. If condoms were the only protection anyone explained to you, here's the missing bit, in ordinary words.

Choose an intact latex or polyurethane dam

Use a new, in-date dental dam with no tears. Polyurethane is an option if latex isn't suitable. Our barrier materials guide explains the differences.

Buy supplies before you need them. Some sexual health services or retailers offer dams, but availability varies. An empty cupboard is an annoying discovery when you've already made rather clear plans with your mouth.

Keep the sheet between the mouth and the skin

Wash your hands, open the packet carefully and lay the dam flat over the vulva or anus before oral contact starts. Hold the sides so it covers the area throughout.

Keep the same side against the body. Don't flip it over or stretch it tight. If you lose track of which side is which, use a new one.

Compatible water-based or silicone-based lube can help with comfort and reduce breakage. Keep oil-based products away from latex dams.

Use a fresh dam when changing areas or partners

Swap to a new dam between anal and vulval contact, between partners and for each new use. If it tears or slips out of place, pause and replace it.

Afterwards, put it in the bin, not the toilet. It isn't reusable, even if you're both feeling particularly attached to the evening.

Dams reduce risk rather than removing every possibility of infection. Our oral sex and STI guide covers testing and the wider picture.

A suitable condom can become a flat barrier

Use a new latex or polyurethane condom. Unroll it, cut off the tip and the ring at the base, then cut lengthways down one side of the remaining tube. Open it into a flat sheet.

Do this away from anybody's body, with care not to puncture or tear the sheet. Then use it with the same coverage and single-use rules as a ready-made dam. Household plastic and random packaging aren't substitutes.

Ask for the protection you want

“I'd like to use a dam” is enough. You don't need to defend the preference or pretend you're less keen on the person you're about to kiss.

Our guide to direct bedroom talk keeps those requests simple. Get the barrier sorted, get comfortable and enjoy each other. A small amount of preparation doesn't need to become the main event.