Your First Anal Toy: How to Start Small and Love It

You came to look at a small butt plug. Ten minutes later you're staring at something the size of a wine bottle, wondering who it's for. Close that tab. Your first anal toy is about finding out how good it can feel, and that starts small.

The reason people get hooked is simple. Your bum is packed with nerve endings, and that full, stretched feeling can make everything else you're doing hit harder. Ask anyone who's come with a plug in. Then go shopping.

Start with the size you'll actually enjoy

Ignore the pointy tip and look at the widest part, because that's the bit your arse is going to notice. A smooth toy with a gradual taper lets you ease in at your own pace, without too many new sensations at once.

You don't have to work your way up, either. If a small toy gets you off, it can stay your favourite. Nobody's checking.

A small plug: that full feeling, hands free

A butt plug goes in, settles on its narrow neck and stays put, which leaves your hands free for better things. Wear it while you use a vibrator, or while your partner goes down on you, and notice how differently everything feels when you're already full.

The Pearl Wonders plug is exactly the kind of toy to start with. It's velvety silicone with a smooth, tapered tip, a modest stretch at its widest point and a flared base that nestles between your cheeks. Once you've got the hang of it, the Passion Play vibrating plug adds a remote, which is a very good thing to hand to someone you trust.

Anal beads: for that slow, popping feeling

Anal beads feel completely different from a plug. Each bead stretches you, then lets you relax around the narrow bit, over and over. Slowly drawing them out as you come is the move people rave about, and it's worth trying.

The Maia DANI has 3 graduated beads, 10 vibration levels and a handle that stays outside your body, so you're always in control. It's 100% silicone, so use it with water-based lube. Can't choose between the two? Our plugs vs beads guide will help.

Prostate toys: if you've got one, go and find it

Got a prostate? A curved prostate massager presses right where it counts, and many people describe the orgasm as deeper and longer than they're used to.

The Adam & Eve Intro to Prostate Kit saves you guessing. You start with a small rippled plug, move up to a curvy one, then try a ring and plug combo and a prostate vibe when you're ready. If you use the ring and plug together, keep the ring on while it's in, and follow the kit's instructions.

The two non-negotiables: a flared base and lots of lube

Anything that goes in your bum needs a flared base, wide T-bar or handle that stays outside. Your bum can pull things in, so no bullets, no household objects and no improvising.

Your arse doesn't make its own lube either, so be generous, then add more. A thick water-based lube suits most toys. The Wicked Anal Adventure Kit gives you four mini bottles to try, and plain Jelle is the one to start with before you get to the heating and cooling ones. Avoid anything that numbs, because you need to feel what's going on. Our anal lube guide covers the rest.

Making your first time feel good

Get turned on first, because a relaxed, horny body is far more welcoming. Lie on your side, take your time around the outside with a slippery finger or the tip, then let your body invite it in. Go in small movements and breathe out as you do.

If it hurts, stop. Pain isn't part of the deal, and more lube, a slower pace or a smaller toy usually fixes it. With a partner, whoever's receiving sets the pace. Wash your toy afterwards and let it dry. If a toy ever gets stuck, or you have bad pain or bleeding, go to an emergency department.

A short first go that felt good is a win. Your bum will still be there next weekend.